Monday, December 31, 2018

Plans for 2019?

Time is ticking away and I still haven't chosen a main focus word. Have you?

I know some of you have. That's great!

A friend on Facebook asked for three words that we hope will describe how we will live in 2019. I input "Balance, Intention, and Adventure."  Today I started my day asking God to help me be that way today. 

To me BALANCE means putting my passions and duties into balance in my schedule. 
To keep my thoughts and mindset in balance.
To take care of myself physically in balance. (I've found it's easy to focus on aches and pains and what is wrong with my health and I don't want to do that this year. Continue to pray for my healing of tinnitus and head and neck pain and chronic stiffness. Two years ago I bonked my head and I think that is a contributor).

To me INTENTION means adding wisdom to my thoughts and choices. It means thinking through the possible consequences of my choices. I hope living intentionally will help me feel accomplished and motivated. 

To me ADVENTURE means a lot less than it would to some women. I'm an introvert. I prefer staying home to read and write or create art. Adventure might mean visiting a new coffee shop, restaurant, or plant store. 

To others it may mean going into a mud run or half-marathon. It may mean blowing $13,000 on a cruise with their spouse. It might mean taking a trip to China. 

I'm not even sure what adventure might look like this year for me. It will require pushing myself out of my usual default, but I am content to slowly break existing habits, not take drastic measures. 

I'm happy and content with my life believe it or not. But I know the value of new adventures too. 

I think I might just post all these words around my house. They are ALL motivating.  

Friday, December 28, 2018

Could Your Focus Word be INSPIRE?


To continue the theme of choosing a word for the year as discussed in this post, I'd like to talk about another theme that has been going through my mind. The word is inspire or inspiration.

Some word choices are more me-centered. Others are others-centered. The word INSPIRE can be both. 

I prefer to feel inspired more than I like to feel worried, sad, or bored. I seek inspiration, but have learned over time it is less about finding it in a big way. For me, it isn't about taking a European vacation. It is enjoying the immediate such as the intricacies laden in the bark of a tree or in the petals of a flower. It is about seeing beauty in the overlooked.

I started a habit about two years ago of going for a 10-minute walk around my large back yard first thing in the morning after taking my thyroid medication (which is supposed to be taken well before coffee). Walking in the fresh air gets my body going, clears my lungs, and my dog and cat enjoy walking with me, so it's fun. (It is also practical as I'm able to pick up my dog's poop during this time). But it is more than that. During this walk, I look out into the forest and up into the sky. I take a deep breath as I notice things I may otherwise miss. I invite God into my day during these walks and return to the kitchen more inspired than when I began, ready to pour a coffee. 

Pray to Inspire Others

Before I head to my gym, I say a prayer for God to put a guard over my mouth. I ask him to use my words to bless others and for others to bless me. This group has been great because it is mostly men and women over age 55. It is my peer group. We workout together and encourage each other. I can't force inspiration on them, but I hope I am an inspiration in some small way.

Inspiring someone else may seem contrived. We can't make anyone else do, think, or feel something. It's up to them. But we can ask God to help us BE inspiring. He can muster up what is already within us and use it to bless others. 

Mostly, I say this prayer so that I won't be negative, critical, insulting, annoying, and so on toward others. I want to be a light, not a Debbie Downer. Choosing to look for inspiration and wanting to inspire others is always a good choice. 

Could your word for 2019 be INSPIRE? 

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Your Word Phrase for 2019: Could it Be Move On?

Another Possible Word for the Year - Move On!

To continue the theme of choosing a word for the year as discussed in this post, I'd like to talk about another theme that has been going through my mind. The phrase is move on (or perhaps let it go).

What I mean by move on is to stop venting, complaining, or ruminating about something quicker. 

I desire to learn to let an event be as it is or was, enjoy it, and move on from it. I desire to resist focusing on what went wrong and look at what went well. 

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians to not find fault, to not keep an account of wrong doings or carry grudges. These verses and others like them indicate a need to put an end to endless rehashing of issues that are better left behind.  Philippians to forget the former things. That can include what happened an hour ago.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to put our focus on

 "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things"

It doesn't suggest we make assumptions (which may not be true), that we look for the faults of ourselves or others, that we look at mis-deeds that might have occurred, that we look at the negative that transpired, or that we look at what's wrong with a person or situation.

Moving on is so important if we're to retain a good mood, retain peace and confidence, and happiness. It's important in making us persistent, consistent soldiers of the Lord. 

It becomes problematic when an issue becomes bigger in our mind than it needs to be. It become problematic when we spend energy complaining or worrying about things that have occurred. What we make our focus intensifies. The result of focusing on what went wrong is we beat ourselves up or cause ourselves unnecessary stress. We might even be tempted to vent to others who don't need to hear about it.  

Perfectionism and Control Issues

For myself, this theme of needing to move on is closely linked to my problem with perfectionism, the need to be in control, and over-analysis. I have trouble when things don't meet my expectations.

Another phrase I might adopt is let it go. I have found doing this takes conscious effort. 

How about you? Could you stand to let thoughts go more easily? 

Letting go means resisting repeating the negatives (referred to as venting), resisting thinking of them over and over, and changing the channel in the brain to more positive thoughts that are full of fresh hope. 

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Do You Choose a Guiding Word for the Year?

Many women in my long-distance coaching circle choose a word at the turn of the calendar. It is a word God has impressed upon them to act as a guiding light for the year. I haven't always chosen a word. Sometimes I've chosen a phrase. Last year, I chose Willingness.

Over the next few posts, I will talk about words you might choose for yourself.

Here's how mine helped me in 2018:

I chose the word "willing" or "willingness." I pictured myself aboard a cruise ship called Willingness.  God would be the captain. I would sit back and relax while I let Him decide where the ship would go. I would disembark at the ports of call to carry out the tasks He had in mind for me. 

The ports of call I ventured to weren't glamorous. They included some of the following:

Be willing to make a wreath for your mother-in-law's nursing home room.
Be willing to visit her on your own, as frequently as possible.
Be willing to help write her eulogy.
Be willing to get up and go to bootcamp.
Be willing to be a listener rather than a talker.
Be willing to make your mom home-cooked meals. 
Be willing to clean your house without complaining.

...and so on.

Adopting this willing mindset helped me complete tasks with a sense of purpose. It kept me from unnecessary complaining.

Right now I have a long list of possible words to choose from for 2019. Some are pictured above. I'm practicing some of them to see if God emphasizes one over the other. 

What do you think of this idea? Do you choose a word for the year? Would it help you stay focused?

Monday, December 03, 2018

Live a Simple Life with Positivity

We all meet with bleak weather, let-downs, aches and pains, and moments when it seems we aren't making progress. At times God speaks clearly to us, and other times we don't hear a thing. Some days go well, others not so well. The truth is, God makes one as well as the other. He is always in control. And so it becomes paramount to start each day fresh and to ask God what his plan is is for each day. 
Choose Positivity
Choosing to have a positive attitude will always be your secret weapon in making it through the day. 
The Bible is full of challenges to stay positive. It tells us to look to God for strength. It tells us to forgive, not hold grudges, to trust God, to not fear, to not worry.
Positivity will help you to be the kind of person others want to be around. Look at the accounts of how many downcast people wanted to be around Jesus. 
Trusting God and staying positive will keep you buoyed up on dark days. It will help you rise out of the ashes of failure or disappointment. It will pick you up when you're worn down. 
How to Stay Positive
As you lay in bed waiting to rise for the day, it will be easy to focus on aches and pains, lack of sleep, and perhaps a list of tasks you don't want to do. To stay positive, resist having negative conversations with yourself. Adopt a positive mindset even before you get out of bed.
When you arise and look in the mirror, don't criticize what you see. Don't start negative conversations with others in your home either.
If you've asked God to lead you through the day, live each hour as a moment, accomplishing what it is you think he wants you to do. Don't be harsh critic of your accomplishments. Don't become annoyed by intrusions on your time. 
To stay positive, put down self-pity that wants to rise and rule. You're not the only person with trouble, so decide you will walk through trouble not give into self-defeat or crying "woe is me." 
Instead of giving into defeat when problems arise, look for solutions. To stay positive, see everything as a test. Choose to pass the test.  Find the lessons in even the worst situations. Use challenges as growth opportunities. 
Limit your time around toxic people. These might include your own extended family members. Some people never learn the key to good relationships. They remain bitter, controlling, and negative. 
I swear, by adopting a positive mindset, you will feel happier, more focused, more productive, and more successful.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

HOPE will Keep You Excited

HOPE is an optimistic mindset. Do you have it?

Having hope starts with appreciating what you have and thanking God for it. By so doing, you realize He is the giver of all things. Hope makes you wonder what God has in store for you next. 

Look at what He's done for you so many times. It's exciting to think He is constantly working on your behalf. Hope ponders the idea that there will be positive outcomes to what you set your hand to, and God will bring new things into your life at the right time. 

Hope promises there will be interesting events and assignments for you to complete in your near future--especially those you will find purpose and fulfillment in. 

Present your desires to God. He wants to bless you by fulfilling them. But be mindful He knows what's under your desires and may meet them a way you don't predict. For instance, maybe you desire clients for your business, but the real reason you desire clients is to have a sense of helping someone. God may present you an opportunity to help someone in a different way which results in meeting your need in a different way.

Also ask God what His desires are. Tell Him you're available to make them happen.  Anticipate His goodness in revealing them to you with faith and confidence. 

For information on an interesting cause, look up HASHTAG HOPE, CANADA or #HOPE. 

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Ask God for Help When Dealing with People

Do some people make you see red?

A sibling had taken initiative to make changes to my senior mom's home. In one sense, it was needed. It also got my mom motivated to sort through some items--a task long overdue. 

Another sibling pointed out what else should be done. As a writer and former secretary who frequently took meeting minutes, I made a list of the items mentioned and disseminated it. 

At the time, I felt I had been given a God-assignment to be a go-between or peacemaker, especially since these siblings didn't communicate well to each other.  


Soon after, sibling "A" decided she would pay a visit to my hometo go over the notes. 

I know how this person can be so was on my guard. She tends to be a know-it-all. She doesn't want to hear other options or opinions it seems. Unfortunately, she doesn't trust that other people have a brain in their head and years of experience too. She simply wants to make decisions and be in control. 

What I hoped would happen at this meetup was that I would be told how wonderful it was that I made such a record of details and did such a great job as a go-between. I suppose that was a naive idea. 

The Lord prepared me, fortunately. He suggested my other siblings and I look to this sibling for permission too often when the decision making of any renovation to my mom's home is up to my mom. Ultimately, we don't need to include sibling A in the conversation.


We cannot control other people or what they say or think. But we can control how we will react to what they say. We can choose our words carefully. 

I lit a candle and made my home as peaceful as I could prior to her arrival. I prayed for wisdom. Then I opened the door to Sibling A. 

There were no congratulations for writing the report and no vote of confidence. Instead, she began to tear down the ideas and criticize them. As in a debate, she made points of why things couldn't possibly work out. But since I'd done my homework, I knew she was exaggerating and incorrect on many points. 

I felt she was defending her point because she wanted to be right. She wanted to sustain control over family affairs. She wanted to shut down the idea.  

My ire rose. I wanted to tear a strip out of her. Fortunately, her phone rang and she had to take a call. I took a deep breath and choose my response. 

Again, God reminded me the decision on further renovations were not up to her. It was up to my mom and no other. It was still her home. She would have to cover the finances. My other sibling and I merely needed to make mom aware of our concerns. My sibling could do most of the work. 

So I responded, "If you feel there is no point to completing these other tasks, there is nothing to discuss." 

I'm so proud of myself for saying that because had I entered into the ring defending my position, I would have merely added kindle to her fire. In that moment, I decided she no longer needed to be included and that I could proceed with the other sibling without her permission.

The meeting ended soon after without us having gotten into a fight. I don't know how things will proceed. Yes, it all took a piece of my time and energy. But I've done my part and really, other than possibly coach my mom through it, there is nothing else I'm required for. I give it to God. 


I realize this was a bit of a test of setting boundaries. If you need to set boundaries with a controlling know-it-all, ask God to help you. You may be amazed at what he points out. 


Now, if you are in inflexible know-it-all, I beg you to examine your style of communicating and operating. Do you have to be right? Or would you rather be helpful? Can you be part of a team? Or do you need to compete?

Are you quick to point out why something won't work? Will you give others the benefit of the doubt that they may be onto something? 

Can you back off and let someone else lead? Or do you have to be a leader? 

Have you ever thought about how your personality dominates others and how it might feel to be on the receiving end of such? 

Can you admit when you're wrong? Do you always see other people as less than yourself? Are they not as educated or experienced as you? Have you really gotten to know them? Can you give them credit for their experience or education?

Can you let someone else win? Can you cheer others on? Have you ever asked yourself why you feel the need to control everyone or everything?  Have you thought about why you think you are better than others?

Friday, November 02, 2018

Voids in Life are Important for Motivation

I was asked how I stay committed to going to my bootcamp style gym. I can go 6 days a week as each workout focuses on a different muscle group. But my commitment is for 2 o 3 a week mostly. 

The person asking said she struggles with motivation. She doesn't like exercise and finds it hard to push herself to go. 

First, I've always included exercise in my life. I may not look the part any longer. Strange weight gain has mounted regardless of my efforts. 

I was a runner and an aerobics for a time.  Later I walked for exercise. 

When I completed assessments to identify my passions, I included exercise as one of my top passions. It is something I don't ever want to not have in my life. 

Other Reasons

That being said, there are more reasons for my commitment. They are intimate and personal. They stem from my soul.

As a work-from-home woman, I struggled to meet a void I constantly felt. It was a desire for community--someone to recognize me and say my name. I longed for a community of peers. I thought about going out to a job or to do volunteer work just to find interaction. But nothing seemed to work out. 

I had quit a gym where no one talked to me. Those workouts were all based on self-motivation. When I quit that gym, I was sure I would find something else, but though I searched, never found it. So I prayed. 

Prayer is Essential

Prayer is essential. I love to do circled prayers as taught in The Circle Maker book. So I circled prayers for years for both my socialization needs and my desire for fitness. 

I'd seen Facebook ads for the new Bootcamp in my neighbourhood, but was unsure of investigating it. In time, I saw an ad for a group for those over 55 years old. I was intrigued. I looked on their website and saw a video. I thought, "I can do that." 

So I went and tried it. I laugh now because I quickly learned what I saw on the video was merely a warm-up. The daily workouts are intense. 

A Social Group

It quickly became apparent that this group was also an answer to my prayer for socialization. 

I made a point of getting to know the names of others in the group but also to say their names as I greeted them or as we did our end of class high-fives. 

What's different with this group is we workout as a team. We cheer each other on. Before or after class, we ask how each other is doing. Lately, we've been going out for coffee once a week too. 

God's Gift

So why do I stay motivated even through injuries? I do it for the exercise, for the socialization, but also because this bootcamp is God's gift to me in answer to my prayers. I don't feel he wants me to squander his gift. 

The Voids of Life Have Purpose

Now, what I thought I'd be writing about today was the idea of the power of voids in our life. It seems we have to feel a gap in life to truly appreciate the answers to our prayers. 

If you have a void in your life, tell God how you feel. Ask him to step in with an answer. Circle that prayer over and over until God provides and answer. 

I think my main motivation for staying is gratitude and not wanting to take for granted what God has provided. So even days I don't feel like going or when I'm there and not in the mood, I persist. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Figure out How to Invest Yourself

In my eBook available on Amazon Kindle,What's Next in Midlife: Identify Your Top 5 Essential Passions:  A Self-Coaching Tool for Christian Women (Self-Coaching Tools for Christian Women Book 3) by [Garde, Rose] are prompts for discovering your top five passions. I came up with the formula after several years of searching what God might want me to pour my new-found-time into once my kids no longer needed me in the same ways once they became adults. 

I had life coach training and had coached a dozen or more women. I'd taken a work-from-home gig as a transcriptionist for Fortune 500 companies but given it up after four years. I had successfully sold hundreds of articles to be used for web content, and worked for private clients in redrafting some of their writing. At this point, I craved focus. I needed to know who "I" was now.

Some questions I asked were: Is there a bigger calling out there for me? Am I limiting myself? Isn't there a job working with people that I should be doing? Should I go back to school? Is there a new job awaiting me that I merely need to look for? Should I be holding in person coaching groups? Can't I use my skills for bigger pay?

There seemed to be as many options as my mind could come up with? I felt scattered.

Testing the Options

I went about testing some of my ideas. I applied for volunteer work, applied for jobs, and looked into courses.

I sought God about all of these things. 

Then I followed an online course through  The instructor went through a number of probing questions small business owners could ask themselves to come up with their personal brand. 

I decided instead of applying this to a business, I would apply it to life in general. After asking myself several probing questions, I had answered a lot of questions about who I was. I narrowed down the top five things that define me (other than being a Christ follower). 

Finding Focus 

My top callings include writing, creating art, gardening and enjoying the outdoors, exercising, and caring for my home and family. This list offers plenty to fill every day without me signing up for another course or taking a paid job. 

For the last few years since making this discovery, I've been dividing my time between them. I still earn money from writing. My art is for sale though I've not sold any. I've joined a bootcamp where I get exercise and socialization, and I get outdoors daily either to be with the pets or to garden. My home and property require a lot of care and upkeep. I'm in charge of that as well as our social calendar. 

When invitations arise, I look for whether or not they fit into one of these niches. If not, I say no.

Do you feel scattered? Do you think having your top callings listed would help you know how to invest your time, money, and energy? 

You might want to work through this book to find out. Otherwise, list what you feel are your top five callings from God. Trust them. Work them. Stay in your lane. Don't make earning money your focus. Build kingdom commodity by serving God this way instead. He will take care of you. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

God is Leading You Daily

Beautiful Bouquet - Instagram Rosalie Garde

Most Christian women CRAVE hearing from God. We pause, listen, and hear dead air most of the time. 

We know God leads us because his word says so. 
Psalm 32:8 says:
 I will instruct you and teach 
you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

We always have questions and cravings, and the only way to walk through them is with FAITH and TRUST that God really is working on our behalf. 

God Leads in the Minuscule

For myself, God's leading is usually very minuscule. When looking for the right dress for my daughter's wedding, rather than become discouraged (as I was tempted to be), I held onto faith. After a first go of shopping, I was disappointed, but set a date to try again. 

In my car alone, I prayed while driving to various stores, running in to look and running back out again having found nothing. 

Just as I felt doubt enter my mind leaving one Smart Centre  I declared (as Joel Osteen instructs) that the Lord would lead me, I merely needed to hold on to faith. 

After trying 15 dresses at four different stores, I found the one.  And I was so grateful. I was glad I'd hung on to faith and not given up. 

God Speaks Through Nature 

God speaks in many small ways and it takes effort at times for us to acknowledge it. There is a 20 ft drop down a steep slope about five feet beyond our fence line. We are concerned about erosion as we don't want the slope to fail. Last week, I was mowing the lawn behind our fence and noticed there are new lilac shrubs lining the slope for about 30 ft! Lilacs are known to have spreading roots that are sturdy. They are great for slope stabilization. 

As I became aware of the lilacs, I felt/heard a voice saying, "That's the favor of God! Only God could have spread those lilacs."

God Speaks Through Life Circumstances

We have had many flies this summer that get indoors and become bothersome. In the past, hanging fly tape has been a good solution to catching these fast-flying beasts. Recently, I was just too lazy to go to a store to search for fly tape. 

Often in church, I'll get an impression of somewhere to go after church. Once I have my husband "captive" it becomes a good opportunity to get him to go somewhere of my choosing. But I've often sensed it is God that puts these ideas in my mind. 

In church this Sunday, I asked the Lord if there is somewhere we should go after or if we should go straight home. He put an impression on my mind of a new surplus store that had opened nearby. My husband agreed to the adventure and once in the store got a cart saying, "What are we buying?" 

I told him I had no plan to buy anything. I just wanted to see the new store. And just as I said that I looked to the left and spotted FLY TAPE! 

It may sound silly, but I knew without a doubt that God had LEAD us there for that reason--to find the fly tape! This is how God works in the minuscule. 

BELIEVE IT! God IS leading you. Don't just look for big things, look for God's hand in the small events of lifetoo. 

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Give of the Little or Much that You Have

Fish art by Rosalie Garde

No one has the corner on answers. No one can tell another person what it is they need to do. 

But God has always worked through people. He continues to work through people. When we bow our hearts to him and offer the little we have, he will use it. 

Sometimes our confidence wains. Mine does often. I write things he puts on my heart. I write about my personal epiphanies. I have no clue if they will really help another woman. I hope they do. 

You see, we are all put on this earth together to help each other. We may never know how much we help another. We simply have to have faith that our little portion is of value somehow somewhere. 

Luke 6:38 New International Version (NIV)

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Thursday, August 02, 2018

Print Book Coming

I've been busy with so many things lately that my creative juices for blog writing just aren't flowing. I feel negligent. I've not been inspired to update the blog.

I sometimes do write posts and not share them because I want them to add value not just ramble. 

Nevertheless, we are all spread for time and energy. We do need to get other things done. One thing I am almost done is uploading a PRINT version of the book Identify Your Top 5 Essential Passions and Answer What's Next? In Midlife. 

It will be a self-published print version of the current Kindle book by the same name. Many women have contacted me asking for the book in print especially because it is so workbook style. I hope this helps them progress in their journey. Keep a look out on your country's Amazon account. To be up soon.

***This print book is now available on Kindle

Monday, July 16, 2018

Tips for Walking Through Boredom

We all have boring days, setbacks, disappointments and times when the weather gets us down.  It’s part of life.  

Most of us also have days of comfort, joy, sunny days and happiness too.
When we face negative days, or when it seems we’re in a rut for a long time, it’s important not to despair.  

A boring day, an ongoing rut might just be training ground for God's greater purpose for you.

A friend of mine mentioned she's bored. I have also used that word recently. I have developed quite a routine. Routines are important to life as they point us in a direction for the day. But the same routine can become boring.  

My dog is old and frail and thrives on a routine. She knows our routine so well she is like an alarm clock telling me what to do when. But I feel hemmed in by her. 

Sometimes our life is great. I have a good life where I can write to my heart's content most days. I have a lovely yard and pool. I have some new terrific friends. But it's easy to become accustomed to all the good. Even good can become boring after a while.

Tips for Dealing With Boredom  

I found this old post which I'm re-writing for this particular theme. Maybe it will help you and even myself: Every boring day, setback or dark day isn’t forever.  The worst way to spend a boring day is to sit there worrying or complaining. It will be renewed eventually.  

The best way to get through a boring day is to relax and to ask what God might want to teach you. Does he want you to change your focus? Does he want you to plan an outing? Does he want you to make a coffee date with a friend? Does he want you to learn to be content. 

Sometimes boredom is a sign that a soul needs refilling. Tune into God and address your soul. 

God filters everything in your life, and if you’re living his way, you know he will turn your challenges into favor.  By favor I mean, new joy, new goals, new gorgeous views, sunny days, and times when things work out. Just let him work behind the scenes.

When you’re tempted to become discouraged, tap into your God-given ability to trust God. Ask him to renew your hope. Have faith he will come through.  

To beat boredom requires having an open mind. Adopt an attitude that every day offers a fresh start. Give yourself to God and see where he leads you.

To beat boredom might mean you need to acknowledge your wins. Pat yourself on the back for all the tiny things you accomplished today from loading the dishwasher, making a meal, speaking to a friend, getting to an event, finishing a work project or chore. 

I swear there is an epidemic of boredom abounding today. We must resist it and when tempted into it, pray for God to intervene. 

When I've been bored recently, I've muttered a prayer that more or less says, "Lord, I feel something is out of balance in my life. You know what I need. Please provide for the need that is troubling me right now." Fortunately, as the Bible verse below says, God WILL supply the answer for my need.   

When you are bored, pray a similar prayer.

Bible Verses

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 12:9a And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
Ephesians 5:15-16 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Do You Worry? Are you Disappointed?

Every once in awhile I'm hit with an attack of the worries, are you? They might arrive in the wee hours of the morning while hardly awake, they might strike at midnight when I'm tired--there is no specified time. 

We all know the enemy (devil) looks for opportunities to get us to worry.  He whispers worry, regret, fear and doubt into our minds. It's up to us to choose whether we'll give into worry or to get rid of it.  But getting rid of it isn't always that easy.

Getting Rid of Worry

Years ago, Dr. Henry Cloud wrote a book, Changes That Heal.  The chapter I recently turned to referred to our ability to live along side both good and bad in life.  

Bad will always be in the world and so the questions become:
  • What are you seeing in your life, your husband, your kids, that you are labelling as "bad"? 
  • Are these things really bad?
  • Can you say, "It is what it is" and move on? 
  • Do you simply need to lighten up, trust God, shift your thoughts, and learn to co-exist with some of the bad in life?

    I've been working on viewing things from God's eyes lately. It's not always easy, but is more fun and less stressful. I'm learning to put down perfectionism. Can you do that? 

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Two Cautions to Keep in Balance

Medical professionals I've talked to don't adhere to the theory of adrenal exhaustion. It has been naturopaths that have put me onto the theory. Just look at the list above for what some believe affects our adrenals and thus our well-being!

Do you believe in adrenal fatigue?

I asked a naturopath what it meant when I was out and about and impatient wanting to yell at store clerks and the like at times. She said that when our adrenals are exhausted, we lack the ability to hold back. We are tempted to be rude and pushy. 

The treatment is being aware of the imbalance and taking rest as needed, and supplements that support the adrenals. 

I'm pretty sure there is something to this theory. Not only do I want to lash out when I feel run down, I am not able to be peaceful and loving as I'd like to be. 

This is why I'm pacing myself as much as I can these days. I take naps, I lay down even for five minutes as needed, and I don't overbook myself. 

Another Syndrome to Watch out For 

Another way we can undo our peace is to live with would have; could have; should have syndrome. For myself, this syndrome arrives alongside overthinking. 

I have found this syndrome arrive mostly after big events like my daughter's wedding. But it can also arrive after a coffee date with a friend, a meeting I've attended, or as a random thought when my mind is not captive. 

The problem with this type of syndrome, it's self-defeating. Yes, we can learn lessons for the future. We can help others avoid mistakes we've made, but to look at all the things you wish you'd done differently is akin to self-bashing. 

The prevention for this syndrome is to always ask God to lead you through each day and each endeavor and then you can trust that how things go are how he intends. 

The way to put down should have, could have, would have thinking is to be kind to yourself and to accept things as they are. Remember, you don't know it all. You aren't necessarily always right. Perhaps how things have gone are of God's design. If so, it's not up to you to argue. 

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Christian Woman, What Attitude Should You Have in Tough Times?

My daughter just got married. Through the process, I constantly battled my will against hers. Had I not been a Christian who has Jesus as a model, I might have flown off the handle, so to speak.

Often, in the process, my husband and I got the message that our input wasn't wanted. We had to take a back seat and let them do their own planning. Though we saw flaws with their plans or thought of other options, we had to hold back. 

Even at the wedding event itself, I had to hold back my expectations and desires and take a proverbial back seat to the events. I told my husband I felt like we were just the breadcrumbs, following the whims of the sandwich-eating wedding party. 

Jesus is our Model 

Throughout the process, I was reminded of Jesus as my model. He didn't come to be served but to serve. He urges us to serve others, and consider their interests above our own as spelled out in Phil. 2:3.  

Adopting this attitude isn't always easy to a mom who has been in control for many years over her children. Now as the children are adults, I have to put my own ambitions in check. The bible teaches us to put conceit, strife, self-justification and self-defense into check. I've had to do that often. I'm glad I know my bible well enough to know I'm not losing out when I take on this attitude. I know in so doing, I'm doing the right thing. 

It went through my mind often on the wedding day that Jesus urges us to be humble and told his disciples the last shall be first as sacrifice leads to heavenly reward. I was reminded of Jesus washing his disciples feet. I dismissed arrogant thoughts as often as I could. 

I won't say I did this perfectly. I vented a lot to my husband and to a few friends. I'm not proud of my venting, but I felt it necessary at times so that I could regain perspective. In most cases, God gave me the strength to choose a different reaction that is not in my nature. 

Fortunately, we have this promise when going through patches like this: 

Isaiah 43:1-2 Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.