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Monday, December 03, 2018

Live a Simple Life with Positivity


We all meet with bleak weather, let-downs, aches and pains, and moments when it seems we aren't making progress. At times God speaks clearly to us, and other times we don't hear a thing. Some days go well, others not so well. The truth is, God makes one as well as the other. He is always in control. And so it becomes paramount to start each day fresh and to ask God what his plan is is for each day. 
Choose Positivity
Choosing to have a positive attitude will always be your secret weapon in making it through the day. 
The Bible is full of challenges to stay positive. It tells us to look to God for strength. It tells us to forgive, not hold grudges, to trust God, to not fear, to not worry.
Positivity will help you to be the kind of person others want to be around. Look at the accounts of how many downcast people wanted to be around Jesus. 
Trusting God and staying positive will keep you buoyed up on dark days. It will help you rise out of the ashes of failure or disappointment. It will pick you up when you're worn down. 
How to Stay Positive
As you lay in bed waiting to rise for the day, it will be easy to focus on aches and pains, lack of sleep, and perhaps a list of tasks you don't want to do. To stay positive, resist having negative conversations with yourself. Adopt a positive mindset even before you get out of bed.
When you arise and look in the mirror, don't criticize what you see. Don't start negative conversations with others in your home either.
If you've asked God to lead you through the day, live each hour as a moment, accomplishing what it is you think he wants you to do. Don't be harsh critic of your accomplishments. Don't become annoyed by intrusions on your time. 
To stay positive, put down self-pity that wants to rise and rule. You're not the only person with trouble, so decide you will walk through trouble not give into self-defeat or crying "woe is me." 
Instead of giving into defeat when problems arise, look for solutions. To stay positive, see everything as a test. Choose to pass the test.  Find the lessons in even the worst situations. Use challenges as growth opportunities. 
Limit your time around toxic people. These might include your own extended family members. Some people never learn the key to good relationships. They remain bitter, controlling, and negative. 
I swear, by adopting a positive mindset, you will feel happier, more focused, more productive, and more successful.


Sunday, November 25, 2018

HOPE will Keep You Excited



HOPE is an optimistic mindset. Do you have it?

Having hope starts with appreciating what you have and thanking God for it. By so doing, you realize He is the giver of all things. Hope makes you wonder what God has in store for you next. 

Look at what He's done for you so many times. It's exciting to think He is constantly working on your behalf. Hope ponders the idea that there will be positive outcomes to what you set your hand to, and God will bring new things into your life at the right time. 

Hope promises there will be interesting events and assignments for you to complete in your near future--especially those you will find purpose and fulfillment in. 

Present your desires to God. He wants to bless you by fulfilling them. But be mindful He knows what's under your desires and may meet them a way you don't predict. For instance, maybe you desire clients for your business, but the real reason you desire clients is to have a sense of helping someone. God may present you an opportunity to help someone in a different way which results in meeting your need in a different way.

Also ask God what His desires are. Tell Him you're available to make them happen.  Anticipate His goodness in revealing them to you with faith and confidence. 

For information on an interesting cause, look up HASHTAG HOPE, CANADA or #HOPE. 

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Ask God for Help When Dealing with People

Do some people make you see red?


A sibling had taken initiative to make changes to my senior mom's home. In one sense, it was needed. It also got my mom motivated to sort through some items--a task long overdue. 

Another sibling pointed out what else should be done. As a writer and former secretary who frequently took meeting minutes, I made a list of the items mentioned and disseminated it. 

At the time, I felt I had been given a God-assignment to be a go-between or peacemaker, especially since these siblings didn't communicate well to each other.  

OUCH

Soon after, sibling "A" decided she would pay a visit to my hometo go over the notes. 

I know how this person can be so was on my guard. She tends to be a know-it-all. She doesn't want to hear other options or opinions it seems. Unfortunately, she doesn't trust that other people have a brain in their head and years of experience too. She simply wants to make decisions and be in control. 

What I hoped would happen at this meetup was that I would be told how wonderful it was that I made such a record of details and did such a great job as a go-between. I suppose that was a naive idea. 

The Lord prepared me, fortunately. He suggested my other siblings and I look to this sibling for permission too often when the decision making of any renovation to my mom's home is up to my mom. Ultimately, we don't need to include sibling A in the conversation.

SET BOUNDARIES AND CHOOSE YOUR REACTION 

We cannot control other people or what they say or think. But we can control how we will react to what they say. We can choose our words carefully. 

I lit a candle and made my home as peaceful as I could prior to her arrival. I prayed for wisdom. Then I opened the door to Sibling A. 

There were no congratulations for writing the report and no vote of confidence. Instead, she began to tear down the ideas and criticize them. As in a debate, she made points of why things couldn't possibly work out. But since I'd done my homework, I knew she was exaggerating and incorrect on many points. 

I felt she was defending her point because she wanted to be right. She wanted to sustain control over family affairs. She wanted to shut down the idea.  

My ire rose. I wanted to tear a strip out of her. Fortunately, her phone rang and she had to take a call. I took a deep breath and choose my response. 

Again, God reminded me the decision on further renovations were not up to her. It was up to my mom and no other. It was still her home. She would have to cover the finances. My other sibling and I merely needed to make mom aware of our concerns. My sibling could do most of the work. 

So I responded, "If you feel there is no point to completing these other tasks, there is nothing to discuss." 

I'm so proud of myself for saying that because had I entered into the ring defending my position, I would have merely added kindle to her fire. In that moment, I decided she no longer needed to be included and that I could proceed with the other sibling without her permission.

The meeting ended soon after without us having gotten into a fight. I don't know how things will proceed. Yes, it all took a piece of my time and energy. But I've done my part and really, other than possibly coach my mom through it, there is nothing else I'm required for. I give it to God. 

SET YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES

I realize this was a bit of a test of setting boundaries. If you need to set boundaries with a controlling know-it-all, ask God to help you. You may be amazed at what he points out. 

QUESTIONS FOR THE KNOW-IT-ALL

Now, if you are in inflexible know-it-all, I beg you to examine your style of communicating and operating. Do you have to be right? Or would you rather be helpful? Can you be part of a team? Or do you need to compete?

Are you quick to point out why something won't work? Will you give others the benefit of the doubt that they may be onto something? 

Can you back off and let someone else lead? Or do you have to be a leader? 

Have you ever thought about how your personality dominates others and how it might feel to be on the receiving end of such? 

Can you admit when you're wrong? Do you always see other people as less than yourself? Are they not as educated or experienced as you? Have you really gotten to know them? Can you give them credit for their experience or education?

Can you let someone else win? Can you cheer others on? Have you ever asked yourself why you feel the need to control everyone or everything?  Have you thought about why you think you are better than others?












Friday, November 02, 2018

Voids in Life are Important for Motivation


I was asked how I stay committed to going to my bootcamp style gym. I can go 6 days a week as each workout focuses on a different muscle group. But my commitment is for 2 o 3 a week mostly. 

The person asking said she struggles with motivation. She doesn't like exercise and finds it hard to push herself to go. 

First, I've always included exercise in my life. I may not look the part any longer. Strange weight gain has mounted regardless of my efforts. 

I was a runner and an aerobics for a time.  Later I walked for exercise. 

When I completed assessments to identify my passions, I included exercise as one of my top passions. It is something I don't ever want to not have in my life. 

Other Reasons

That being said, there are more reasons for my commitment. They are intimate and personal. They stem from my soul.

As a work-from-home woman, I struggled to meet a void I constantly felt. It was a desire for community--someone to recognize me and say my name. I longed for a community of peers. I thought about going out to a job or to do volunteer work just to find interaction. But nothing seemed to work out. 

I had quit a gym where no one talked to me. Those workouts were all based on self-motivation. When I quit that gym, I was sure I would find something else, but though I searched, never found it. So I prayed. 

Prayer is Essential

Prayer is essential. I love to do circled prayers as taught in The Circle Maker book. So I circled prayers for years for both my socialization needs and my desire for fitness. 

I'd seen Facebook ads for the new Bootcamp in my neighbourhood, but was unsure of investigating it. In time, I saw an ad for a group for those over 55 years old. I was intrigued. I looked on their website and saw a video. I thought, "I can do that." 

So I went and tried it. I laugh now because I quickly learned what I saw on the video was merely a warm-up. The daily workouts are intense. 

A Social Group

It quickly became apparent that this group was also an answer to my prayer for socialization. 

I made a point of getting to know the names of others in the group but also to say their names as I greeted them or as we did our end of class high-fives. 

What's different with this group is we workout as a team. We cheer each other on. Before or after class, we ask how each other is doing. Lately, we've been going out for coffee once a week too. 

God's Gift

So why do I stay motivated even through injuries? I do it for the exercise, for the socialization, but also because this bootcamp is God's gift to me in answer to my prayers. I don't feel he wants me to squander his gift. 

The Voids of Life Have Purpose

Now, what I thought I'd be writing about today was the idea of the power of voids in our life. It seems we have to feel a gap in life to truly appreciate the answers to our prayers. 

If you have a void in your life, tell God how you feel. Ask him to step in with an answer. Circle that prayer over and over until God provides and answer. 

I think my main motivation for staying is gratitude and not wanting to take for granted what God has provided. So even days I don't feel like going or when I'm there and not in the mood, I persist. 



Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Figure out How to Invest Yourself

In my eBook available on Amazon Kindle,What's Next in Midlife: Identify Your Top 5 Essential Passions:  A Self-Coaching Tool for Christian Women (Self-Coaching Tools for Christian Women Book 3) by [Garde, Rose] are prompts for discovering your top five passions. I came up with the formula after several years of searching what God might want me to pour my new-found-time into once my kids no longer needed me in the same ways once they became adults. 

I had life coach training and had coached a dozen or more women. I'd taken a work-from-home gig as a transcriptionist for Fortune 500 companies but given it up after four years. I had successfully sold hundreds of articles to be used for web content, and worked for private clients in redrafting some of their writing. At this point, I craved focus. I needed to know who "I" was now.

Some questions I asked were: Is there a bigger calling out there for me? Am I limiting myself? Isn't there a job working with people that I should be doing? Should I go back to school? Is there a new job awaiting me that I merely need to look for? Should I be holding in person coaching groups? Can't I use my skills for bigger pay?

There seemed to be as many options as my mind could come up with? I felt scattered.

Testing the Options

I went about testing some of my ideas. I applied for volunteer work, applied for jobs, and looked into courses.

I sought God about all of these things. 

Then I followed an online course through CreativeLive.com  The instructor went through a number of probing questions small business owners could ask themselves to come up with their personal brand. 

I decided instead of applying this to a business, I would apply it to life in general. After asking myself several probing questions, I had answered a lot of questions about who I was. I narrowed down the top five things that define me (other than being a Christ follower). 

Finding Focus 

My top callings include writing, creating art, gardening and enjoying the outdoors, exercising, and caring for my home and family. This list offers plenty to fill every day without me signing up for another course or taking a paid job. 

For the last few years since making this discovery, I've been dividing my time between them. I still earn money from writing. My art is for sale though I've not sold any. I've joined a bootcamp where I get exercise and socialization, and I get outdoors daily either to be with the pets or to garden. My home and property require a lot of care and upkeep. I'm in charge of that as well as our social calendar. 

When invitations arise, I look for whether or not they fit into one of these niches. If not, I say no.

Do you feel scattered? Do you think having your top callings listed would help you know how to invest your time, money, and energy? 

You might want to work through this book to find out. Otherwise, list what you feel are your top five callings from God. Trust them. Work them. Stay in your lane. Don't make earning money your focus. Build kingdom commodity by serving God this way instead. He will take care of you.