Saturday, August 16, 2014

How to Have a Loving Family Relationship

Do you want a loving relationship with your husband, children, friends, and other relatives?  Then follow the edicts of this verse:  

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"  (1 Cor. 13:4) (NIV).

Now which one of those have you fallen short on recently?

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Life Coaching a Depressed Client

Some life coaches begin working with women they've screened and later, during the life coaching process, it becomes apparent depression is involved.  Life coaches are not to cross the line of counselor, so refer clients when necessary.

Nevertheless, life coaches do work with clients' mindsets, so it is important they have knowledge and tools for this.  One of my favourite tools is by Joseph L. Luciani.

Self Coaching, by Joseph L. Luciani isn't a Christian book per se, but offers important information on anxiety and depression.

He warns the reader to be aware of certain thinking traps.  He suggests unless we are aware of the traps and their potential harm, they can become habits leading to difficulty (pg 71).

When I read the list of thinking traps Luciani set out, I immediately became aware that they could be considered STRONGHOLDS.  Spiritual strongholds are problems rooted in a person's personality that cause ongoing struggle.

The motive of strongholds as authored by Satan is to interfere with a person's ability to accomplish Godly assignments.  A stronghold can be a lie a person unknowingly believes.

“Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 
for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful 
for the destruction of fortresses [strongholds]” (2 Corinthians 10:3-4, NASB). 

Reading the traps or strongholds listed in Luciani's book was eye-opening.  He listed these:

  • black and white thinking
  • what ifs
  • should
  • labelling
  • have-tos
  • mind reading
  • tunnel vision
  • rehearsing troubles
  • fear of the future
  • defensiveness

Black and white thinking shows up in statements that are strongly pointed in one direction, negative or positive.  They leave little room for "grey".  But life really is rarely one or the other.  Thoughts and feelings aren't facts and it's easy to become duped by them.  The need to be right is another symptom of black and white thinking.  But this compelling character trait can cause a person great grief.

Have a look through this list and ask yourself if you might be caught in any of these strongholds.

(For blogs especially geared for
midlife women visit:  The Midlife Christian Woman)

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Get That Monkey Off Your Back By Working With a Life Coach

As I laid upon my bed resting, I thought about a blog to write about the unique purposes of using a life coach.  I'm NOT writing this to solicit business because right now I'm not taking clients.  I am writing this for those of you who feel all alone in a struggle and may need a nudge to look for a coach of your own.


I've been knocked out with a leg injury from nowhere!  Well, that's what I like to think.  All I did was two weeks of heavy garage cleaning, lawn mowing, and gardening to set an old knee injury off.

My garage looks great, but after all the work, my knee began to hurt and my calf and Achilles muscle have become so tight I can't walk.  I've been nursing this injury a full two months now with the aid of therapy!

I feel as though I'm being robbed of my favourite season.  I love to garden and right now I can't if I want to get better.

While I'm in physical therapy, the emotions are affected too.  I find myself looking for God's purpose in this.  It's so disappointing.  I am always open to his new path, but this isn't quite what I had in mind.  So right now I'm testing a lot of principles I teach.


I've used life coaches before for a variety of purposes--not just identifying my life direction--but often for venting.  That's right, venting.  Why?  Well, in one case, I was not allowed to discuss certain details of an event due to confidentiality.  But I needed a relief valve.  In another case, I had pent up anger about something and I needed a safe place to get the monkey off my back.  

Us women can carry that monkey around for a long time until the monkey grows so big it weighs us down stalling forward movement.

Right now the monkey is hanging onto my leg and causing me frustration.  My husband is getting tired of hearing me complain about my sore leg.  He's pitching in like a trouper though.

Recently, I was so discouraged my mood was low and I knew my husband didn't want to hear about it.  Men like to fix things and this he could not fix.  This was one time I could have used the services of a life coach--someone safe to vent to.

So as I sat in my bed, I wanted to share this thought because I know so many of you have problems that crop up too that you wish you could talk about with someone without looking like a negative Nelly.  If you have an issue you think will be helped through having someone safe to talk to, look up Christian life coaches and send an inquiry email outlining the specific purpose you want to address.  If it's a one-time call you want, mention that.

Life coaching is different from counselling or therapy and this is a good example.  You probably wouldn't go to a therapist for a struggle over a temporarily frustrating condition.     You might go for healing of unhealed wounds or to deal with depression, but if it's merely a monkey you want to release, life coaching is a great tool.