What is Your Rut? How Can You Climb Out of It?

An abstract painting by Rosalie Garde.

Throughout my coaching journey, I've had the privilege of listening to numerous stories filled with heartache and confusion. I provided one-on-one coaching sessions over the phone, and I also worked as an online coach with two different organizations. In the latter role, there was no initial prequalification meeting; I would simply respond when my computer rang. Then, I'd embark in a chat messaging session. 

I sincerely hoped and prayed that my skills would prove helpful, and that the person on the other end of the computer chat would be serious and not a troll. Despite the uncertainty, I offered this as a paid service knowing I'd receive compensation regardless of whether they were genuinely seeking help or just looking to joke around.

Also, participating in a now defunct Christian chatline, I often found myself staying up late to mentor those who were going through challenging times. The stories they shared were genuine and filled with tales of abuse, involvement in witchcraft, recovery from abortion, battles with alcoholism, struggles in damaged marriages, financial hardships, dealing with loneliness and health dilemmas, and more.

I understand that overcoming trauma such as these situations can be an arduous journey. It necessitates support and a process of healing. 

Some women experience immediate healing when they turn to their faith in God. However, for many others, the healing journey is a gradual process and a journey of maturity and personal growth.

There are indeed people who find it extremely challenging to begin the healing process because they are still trapped in their trauma. They may be unsure about where to seek help, or they might choose to stay in their familiar but damaging circumstances. It's a complex and deeply personal struggle that many individuals face. It can also be hard to identify what needs to change by yourself. Hearing input from others is valuable. 

The Biblical account in John 5:1-15 is a powerful reminder of the question, "Do you want to get well?"

In this account, Jesus visited a healing pool and saw a man who'd been laying by the pool as an invalid. Jesus asked him, "Do you want to get well?"

That's a question each woman needs to ask herself. And then it's up to her to take one healthy step forward at a time.

 

This was me around age 50. 

I know well, many women contend with legitimate health issues that can be physically and mentally taxing. Chronic fatigue, myalgia, pain, injuries, and depression can be incredibly challenging to manage. However, your journey can include building a support team and seeking guidance from various professionals. I myself went on a journey many times for personal ailments. I'm doing well now. And that is my wish for all women. 

• What needs to change in your life?
• Will that change include new boundary setting?
• What professional may be of help to you right now?
• Are you already on a path to healing and growth? How can you celebrate your mile markers?

 

 

Take Your Heart's Desires Seriously and Work on Them

 

An art collage I did this past winter.

My art area.
One of my heart's desires was to have an in-home studio
where I could create, paint, draw.
God provided this area in 2010 when we moved and I was 52.

What are your interests? Do they include caring for wildlife, helping the poor, drawing, singing, or hiking? 

What are the things you enjoy spending time on? Do you like organizing, web surfing, cleaning, solving complex problems, or woodworking?

What are your desires? What do you wish would happen in your life or in your community? How might you help? 

What door do you hope will open? Is there a secret door in your mind you are hoping God will open for you to walk through?

As a Christian woman, do you know that your deepest desires and even some of your whims are placed within you by God?

Philippians 2:13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Perhaps you have a desire to write a book, to get a paid job, to earn a degree, to make friends, to cultivate a garden, to paint, to record music, to travel, and so on. Many of these are accomplishable desires. 

I like to sit on my deck. 
I don't like to view the junk that
might be under my neighbour's treehouse.
So I wondered long and hard about how to enhance my view. 
And these door panels and old gazebo parts were sitting in my yard.
I ordered a roll of peel & stick nature wall paper and
created this privacy screen  

FOR GOD'S SAKE

Your desires aren't only about you and your happiness. While God likes to give good gifts to his children, the gifts and desires he places within you are ultimately for his glory and to accomplish his purposes. We may not understand the reason behind the things he gets us to do. We may not see how we glorified him in any adventure we undertook. We may not gain feedback about how anything we have done has helped another. Regardless, our part is to complete the assignment we sense he is asking us to do. 

Mark 16:15-16 He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel [publish openly the good news] to all creation."

WHAT TO DO ABOUT DESIRES

There is a chronic restlessness in humankind that is difficult to put a finger on. I've read that this underlying restless feeling is actually a yearning for heaven. This yearning needs to be tempered because we don't live in heaven while on earth. It makes sense that as humans we can try to fill our earthly life with all the right ingredients and still feel a void.  

Have you ever experienced a let down after a fun event or after achieving a worthwhile goal? Do you have days when you feel both tremendously happy and content and empty at the same time? This is the restless dynamic we all deal with. 

The ups and downs of life are part of our humanity. Happiness is hard to sustain. So rather than rely on one specific desire to be fulfilled to make you happy, ask God to course-correct your desires and help you to develop the ones he shows you.

A PRACTICAL LIST

Do you want to know some practical steps you can take to help hone your desires? Try working through this list:

1. Commit your plans to God. Proverbs 16:3 puts it this way, "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
   
   
2. Take your desires seriously for they are clues to your calling. 
   1 Corinthians 12:11 "All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines."
   
   
3. Ask God to fan your desires into flame. "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands." 2 Tim. 1:6
   
   
4. Take small steps towards your hearts desires with realistic expectations. That is, don't shy away from them or use negative self-talk to talk yourself out of them "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6
   
   
5. Practice, work hard, and do your best when given the chance to make your desires a reality. "We work wearily with our own hands to earn our living. We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us" 1 Cor. 4:12 LB
   
   
6. Leave the outcome to God. If you have specific expectations of how things should work, chances are you will be disappointed. Just take steps and see what God does with what you offer. "My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure" Isaiah 46:10
   
   
   

   

   At the start of the pandemic, some ladies I knew made masks. Another makes cards. I purchased from them and gave
   them to health care workers in my community. 

   
   

Sometimes it seems as though our desires will never fully be realized. It helps to trust in this verse, Psalm 138:8. Here it is in various translations:

New International Version(©1984) The LORD will fulfill [his purpose] for me. New Living Translation (©2007) The LORD will work out his plans for my life--for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me. New American Standard Bible (©1995) The LORD will accomplish what concerns me. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me. King James 2000 Bible (©2003) The LORD will perfect that which concerns me. An art piece I created with watercolour pencils in 2020.  Here is a random LIST OF IDEAS to spark your thoughts.  CHOOSE THOSE THAT MIGHT FIT YOU: I like to learn about technology. I like to draw and paint. I love walking dogs. I'd love to volunteer at a library, book store, thrift shop, or similar location. I want to start a vegetable garden. I love the study of archaeology. Sewing, knitting, or crocheting are me. I'm a writer. I enjoying viewing artwork online or at galleries. Cooking and new recipes are me. I love playing video games. I would love to be the social media specialist for a company. Scrapbooking and crafting describe my interests. Fish. I love fishing or aquarium fish. I love reading and bookclubs. I would love to tutor. Golfing is my passion. Blogging is something I'd like to try. I would like to be a cheerleader for others in small business. Walking or hiking describe a desire I'd like to do more of. I love taking care of my home and family. I love taking courses. A course I'd like to take next is _____. I hope to grow and tend flowers this year. My desire is to exercise more, I just need motivation. Share in the comments any ideas you've had from reading this list.

Don't Stay Stuck, Focus on Your Life Purpose Today!

If you have been feeling a little down, a little anxious, or a little fatigued after all the pandemic-related events combined with a world in chaos, you aren't alone.

The answer to all that kind of stress is, as always, to reach out to God. In him, you will find the comfort you need. Trust that he has you in the palm of his hand. He IS WORKING where you cannot see.

Don't rely on the circumstances around you as your compass.

In Matt. 7:24 Jesus said that everyone who hears his words and obeys them is like a wise (wo)man who built her house on solid rock. That is, she has a healthy foundation that won't crumble when life's storms hit it.

KEEP TO YOUR LIFE PURPOSE

Even though you may feel down right now, tap into remembering your life purpose here on earth. God created you for his enjoyment. He has assignments for you.

Your purposes include loving yourself, your neighbour, but most of all God. When you ask him for his agenda on your day, he will go to work through you. As you develop your gifts and talents and share them with the world, God works through you to mentor, teach, guide, and bless others in the world, and you, in turn will be blessed.

Which of your talents should you work on tonight or tomorrow?

Update December 2022 - Pace Yourself and Ask God for a Guiding Word

 

I've been busy living my life purpose in other areas over the last little while, so haven't added much to this blog. But as the special project I was involved in winds down, I am here to check in and decide the direction of this blog going forward. 

I am so blessed that the stats show, that even with my absence, there have been many visitors. I hope those who landed here came across something worthwhile that applies to their own life. 

COMPETING PRIORITIES

At times, we can take on too much. We find we are juggling too many competing priorities. That is why I stopped posting here regularly--God sent me on a path that had a greater priority and urgency. I am honoured.

Have you asked God what his priority for you is right now?

PACE YOURSELF 

One of my mottos over 2021 & 2022 has been to PACE myself. I am working at putting perfectionism down. I am content if a project takes three times as long as I first assumed it would. 

Do you pace yourself? 

ASK GOD FOR A GUIDING WORD 

My word for 2022 was ENJOY. This year, that word came to mind often! It went along with the idea of pacing myself. I felt God saying to me--whatever you are doing should be done with enjoyment, not with stress. 

That word got me off the hook many times. I tried hard to default to it. 

I think God has already given me my word/phrase for 2023. It is LET GOD. 

As women, we are tempted to try to work things out--find solutions--fix ourselves or others--and work hard. But God has been showing me that it is HE that works through me. I need to LET him show me solutions, fix me, fix others, and take the pressure off myself. For me, that may mean less planning and more being ready to be spontaneous--to be surprised by what he tells me to do in a day. It's a very empowering way to live. 

Did you have a word for 2022? Did it guide you?

Do you have a new guiding word for 2023 yet?

Should We View Our Lock-Down as a Fast?

I have resented the many social media posts that imply we are all a mess during our personal lock-downs due to the stay in place directive related to the corona virus (COVID-19). 

I did not feel a mess or anxious until perhaps this evening. I'd rather refer to it as feeling off. 

This weekend marks my 2nd full week of self-isolation. I have been to grocery stores twice in the two weeks for a short time, been out for walks, but more or less have been home reading, writing, and watching TV.

Why We Feel Off

A friend on social media wrote why she feels a little off.  Her explanation helped me make sense of my feelings. 

Missing for her are day and week markers. Her markers were simple things that were regularly in her schedule. Gone is her in-person Bible study, her card game, and her crafting group meetup. 

My markers have been meeting my gym mates for mid-morning workouts, my husband's return from work at dinnertime, going to church, that kind of thing. 

Some of us currently feel off-kilter since the little bit of structure we had is gone. Day tends to flow into day. 

Managing the New Routine

It's also spring and here in Ontario, Canada. Has only been a little sunny and isn't quite warm enough to do a lot of yard work. It is supposed to rain this week. 

But even as an introvert who is used to working from home, I admit I don't have this prison sentence licked. 

We all need outside interaction. We need something beyond our spouse and our own homes. Our structure is missing. Our connections are missing.

No Use in Complaining

I used to complain about my situation. With several days of not talking to someone in person, I'd tell my husband I was dying inside. I felt worse especially when I had no meaningful writing projects, when articles and books weren't selling, or when I had writer's block. I often said I wanted a real job.

When no new job transpired, my husband usually told me to just appreciate my life. Now that he is also working from home, I hope he feels catches a glimpse of the rut-like feeling I've often experienced. I hope he learns empathy. 

My Why

I've told God I'd be his scribe--his conduit to the world through my writing if he'd let me. For a time, I felt him leading me to write great articles and Kindle books. But lately, the anointing seems to be gone. My last book for at-home moms isn't selling at all. 

The organization I sell articles through has new editors. I've never had so many rejections in ten years as I've had in the last six months. It's discouraging!

So right now, in the midst of this COVID-19 lockdown, though I crave change, now is not a time for change. The whole world is locked down! 

Fasting

I realized today, this lockdown can be viewed as a fast we're all on. We are fasting life as we've known it. Do you see that? What are you fasting from just now?

We can probably use some of this time to tune into God to find out what he is up to in our lives--the usual purpose for a fast. If only we can pull ourselves away from the news, social media updates, or TV shows. 

New Starts 

With the turn of the calendar, many of us looked forward to what new thing God might do in our life in 2020. Did you?

Some of have been anticipating new opened doors. But now they're slammed shut!

If we view this as a forced fast, perhaps we can press into God and hear from him better?

God is With Us 

God has not left us. He is still at work. It's not for us to worry about the future or to try to figure out this COVID-19 thing. He works all things out in our lives for good. That hasn't changed. We need to stay in faith. 

• Why not ask God to grow your faith during this lock-down time? 
• Why not ask him to speak to you about what he has in mind for you right where you are?
• Make a list of what he reveals to you during your lock down. 

Most of all, stay steady. Encourage yourself daily. And keep hope in God as your guide.