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Friday, December 27, 2019

Lessons I Needed


Many will say God allows trials to teach us lessons and to give us greater empathy for others. Sometimes we are simply better prepared to help others later experiencing something similar. 

It was with that confidence I faced stomach flu the 23rd of December continuing into Christmas Eve. 

At such a special holiday time I could get in a dither. I could feel jilted and even worried that I wouldn't pull off the perfect Christmas gathering for my family. Instead, I chose to remember God is in control and to do only what I could do--which was more or less run to and from the bathroom and back to bed. 

Through this temporary trial, I instantly knew God was teaching me to be less of a perfectionist. My to-do list for the 23rd had included vacuuming a staircase, mopping a floor, and running to the grocery store to pick up a few more items, some more essential than others. 

Yes, we could have used fresh mayonnaise for the family's lunch sandwiches on the 24th, but we could live without more potato chips and candy. Actually, we made it through our family Christmas without the extra 13 items on the list. (We also saved money by modifying the plans.) 

Let Go

God was also teaching me to let go, delegate, and trust others. My husband vacuumed the stairs. The family would have to have a basic lunch, not the fancy one I planned. 
They'd have to make their own sandwiches. And they did. 

God was teaching me to loosen the reins of control. While I rested in bed, the family did fine without me. They made lunch and the appetizers I had planned to make before the Christmas Eve church service. They didn't set up a charcuterie board as my mind had planned to do--just to make the day a little more special--but what they did worked well enough. 

The kids helped their dad prepare dinner vegetables while he prepared a flavorful beef tenderloin that would be served after church. They went to Christmas Eve service without me--a first in a long time. But I was able to stream the event online.



More Life Decluttering

This fall, I embarked on a decluttering mission. I started sorting through items in my home we no longer needed. As I did, I noticed how my thoughts and emotions were challenged.  I sensed God telling me it was a season of letting go so I could embark on a new life phase. 

Now this sickness forced me to let go of traditions, expectations, my need to be in control, and so much more. 

Things worked themselves out. I suppose I could say I raised a good family and I'd prepared the fridge and home well enough.  

Perfectionism 

Where do our perfectionist roots come from? Some will say insecurity--that if we do something perfectly, people will like us. Some of us still look for our own parent's approval. 

I think we grow up with perfectionist ideas through generational teaching too--some of us have had critical parents or siblings. 

Perhaps ideas come from a church that taught us this trait.

We are in a different era, but some roots are deep. It takes strength to break tradition, to say "no" or to be okay with a change of plans.  

Are there any mindsets you have that it's time to challenge?

Where do your roots lie--in the voices of your parents? In the rules of a church? In the voices of your social club. In social media? Or are you rooted in God? 




Saturday, December 21, 2019

God is Working Behind the Scenes




Recently, I wrote a Facebook Post reminding friends of how we connected while wishing them a blessed Christmas season.


I have two Facebook profiles. One I started in 2008, included relatives and close friends and networking connections. 

Soon enough, I decided I wanted the groups of people separate. So I kept the one profile for family and close friends and created a new account for church and business networking. In the new account, I added all my wonderful life coach contacts, local networking contacts, church friends, gym friends, and multiple others. 

When I compare the two profile pages, the business networking page is far superior and helpful to me than the relative page is. 

The business networking Facebook page is where I learn, ask for help, ask for prayer and insight, and where I follow real-life journeys. There is cheerleading and comforting that happens there. It is so great I found myself asking how I grew such a wonderful list and wondered if others had such wonderful lists. 

In many cases, I connected with one person who connected me with others. Now, years later, I see how it all unfolded. But one thing I know, it was God who put us together! And I am very thankful. It really is my life blood. 

Trust God 

God is always at work. He does the connecting behind the scenes. I've seen it with Facebook, I've seen it with the life coaching course I took back in 2006, I've seen it where so many other life events are concerned. 

It is an act of faith to pray, "Lord, I surrender my path to you. I give my daily agenda to you. I surrender my timetable and list of errands. I surrender my desires and wait for you to put together those you want in my life." 

Our times are in God's hands. He will bring to pass what he wants to happen in our lives at just the right time.  




“I trust in you, LORD; I say, ‘You are my God.’ 
My times are in your hands” (Psalm 31:14-15 NIV).



Monday, December 16, 2019

Old Dreams and New Dreams

Taken from
 https://www.frontenacnews.ca









I visited a new local church recently. It was small and friendly. 

After the gathering, one gentleman told me how he'd grown up in the Free Methodist Church and had been a ministerial candidate. My ears perked up. 

"The Free Methodists! I used to work at the Free Methodist Church head office!" I replied. "I was an administrative assistant to the Executive Director Paul Johnston, and to Bishop Bastian."

The gentleman had a strange look on his face. He obviously wasn't familiar with these names. And I was only vaguely familiar with a name he referred to, Norman Bull. 

You see, I worked there in the 80s and this gentleman was younger and more familiar with the newer leaders. 

It doesn't really matter apart from me now realizing how old I must be that my time there was so many years ago now. 

But the conversation took me back--way back to one of the jobs I loved. I can't even tell you what I loved about it except that it was ministry at its best. And there was a long legacy of devoted believers in that lineup. They loved and respected each other so deeply. I was a student of all who worked there and who passed through. 

It's also where I learned how to operate the computer as the first computers had just come out in the mid-eighties. I'm fortunate. I loved preparing for meetings and General Conference and taking the minutes during the meetings. 

But I had negative personal relationship issues going on at the time. I won't go into detail but it was a very hard stage of life I endured. And too troubling to admit to my work comrades. So I was eventually compelled to find work that paid more so I could support myself, and after about five years left that role I loved so much. 

New Things?

The Lord spoke to me not too long ago that new things were on the horizon in my life. I knew with my dog's passing and all my decluttering, that I was turning a corner. I don't have the complete picture yet, but in the process of moving forward, God has had me look backward.

Not only did the conversation prompt me to recall many good memories of my time at that job, but in the decluttering process I was led to pull a number of old books off the shelves to re-read. 

The books are re-building my faith. They are reminding me of my former passions about being involved in ministry to others. They are resurrecting old dreams. I feel the answer to happiness is found in helping others and I hope my next life stage includes that. My heart beats to connect the lonely, to encourage the weary, and to direct people to God where they can find a thriving life path. 

What has God asked you to do with your old dreams? Let them go? Walk away? Or does he want to resurrect some?

What can you do to prepare for the new life stages that are just ahead for yourself?  



Friday, November 29, 2019

What Life Season are You In and How Will You Move Forward?


Bear with me as I rattle on. What I mean is I have an idea to write about but I haven't fleshed it out. I don't know the summation yet. I often write this way, asking the Holy Spirit to speak through me. Sometimes my blog posts are to help myself as much as they are to minister to other women. 

One thing I DO know is that sharing our ideas, thoughts, experiences, or challenges sometimes comforts a reader. In reading our words, they know they aren't alone in their own challenges. This may be the only purpose of tonight's blog post. 

But I also realize my words may challenge you as you design your life roadmap. You know where you've been and the life phase you are currently in or about to enter. You can choose how you will walk through this life phase and the next.  

Life Seasons

The thought that came to mind is that perhaps the hardest thing for women to come to terms with is our changing life seasons, life meaning, and the pace of life. It's ever-changing and ongoing. Some seasons are longer than others. Many seasons catch us by surprise. 

At times, we are so busy we crave a holiday. At other times, we aren't busy and are bored. 

My Journey

When I became a mom, I fell into the whirlwind that role entails. A mom is very busy until her child is about age 10. She is still needed, but life slows down just a tad leaving her looking for something new. 

At that time until now, I found life coaching, transcription work from home, and writing to do while my kids finished high school, then university.  

Eventually, the kids leave home. Mom may be working or not, but the activity level for some women becomes profoundly less. Quieter, if you will. 


The Quieter Life 

Like many women in my life phase, I'm too young to retire (what would I retire from?) and too old to work it seems. 

Perhaps I deserve a rest after being a mom for so long, but the pace of life is so very slow compared to days gone by. 

I also want to speak to those around me who have retired. They may enjoy the relaxed life at first, but soon enough they sense a void. They'll tell their former colleagues all is well when inside they deal with an inner turmoil. 

Some of the traits include:

feeling loss
lacking self-esteem
feeling isolated
lacking relationships
feeling lost about how to spend their time
wondering where to find peers

Some find peers, but their peers are as lost or depressed as they are. 

But God 

When in a state of mixed feelings over my current life phase, I'm comforted to know that God is still in control. 

While some women will retire from a paid job, a Christian never really retires if she desires to be used by God. Of course, in my experience, we know that, but putting feet on it seems to be another matter. 

I hope in the days ahead, we will solve the crisis of what to do with ourselves in later life because we are living longer and are used to busy lives. 

Where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, is how much we trust God in our current life phase. 


  • Will we resist looking at the life path of other women and not compare ourselves? 
  • Will we stop looking back to the life we once had and look forward to what is ahead?
  • Will we resist the temptation to be busy all the time in an attempt to hide troubling feelings? 
  • Will we be willing to look at life a day at a time?
  • Will we get over the feeling that we have to justify ourself to others?



Life Pursuits

I know those who retire find the transition difficult too, if not at first, later as time goes on. The unscheduled life of doing nothing does not give the fulfillment they may have hoped for. 

Spiritually, there can be letdown. I know some women who freed themselves from their paid jobs with the expectation that God would then raise them up to respectable and fulfilling leadership roles. Why wouldn't he? 

In more cases than not, though, those same women didn't see doors open. They ended up looking down other avenues where they might use their gifts before losing their minds to disappointment and boredom. 


Adjust Expectations

One lady I'll call Odette admits prior to empty nest and retirement she had preconceived ideas and expectations about the life phase that proved false. I didn't hear what her expectations were apart from feeling that as long as finances were in place, she'd be okay. She went on to say that no one talks about the emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges one might face over 60 or in retirement. 

But I'm here to talk about it. Perhaps because I've worked from home so long I've been more aware of the challenges of an unscheduled work life. I'm also aware I can no longer run, roller skate, or do as much housework in a day as I could when I was younger. 

I've been putting my own puzzle pieces together for the last 12 years. I know there are many ingredients needed in one's life to feel happy and purposeful. The shortlist includes finding meaningful work, knowing your strengths, developing your gifts and finding ways to use them, developing a social network, working on your fitness, and keeping romance in your marriage or connectivity in your relationships. 

Finding the right mix of ingredients is challenging to many empty nest or retired women.

Living a Quiet Life Phase

Retired folk and at-home moms whose children have moved on were used to a schedule and routine. Retired folk were also used to being defined by a job title and perhaps the name of the company they worked for. 

At-home moms whose children have moved on no longer rub shoulders with other parents they used to meet at their children's events. They no longer visit with their children's friends. There are gaps. It's up to them to create a new social circle for themselves apart from their children.  

Routine and Social Circle 

Having routines and a social circle are important ingredients to have in life for it to have some momentum. If you are lacking these ingredients, start with a few basic routines. 

No, you don't have to get up at 7 am like you used to unless you want to. My brother-in-law said he kept to his early morning work wake up time of 5:30 am for years until he gave himself permission to enjoy more leisurely mornings. 

My routine is simple. I get up and brush my hair. Then, I take my thyroid pill and walk around my acre property at least once with my cat. One winter, I walked a full 10 minutes each morning around my pool. It's a time for me to be quiet before God and to shake off nighttime stiffness with deep breathing and stretching. I invite God into my day and say a few prayers as I walk. 

Next, I make a coffee, grab a protein bar and check my emails. I read a few devotional emails, and check my Facebook account. Once my first coffee is done, I change into my gym clothes (every other day) and head over there.  

My gym has been a God-send. I'm in a group of mostly over 50-year-olds who work out together. We also go out for coffee and have social events. After my workout, I run errands, return home for lunch and write or do housework. 

Routines help give life momentum and add framework to life. 


What Is In Your Schedule?

Some of my retired friends live frantic lives. They fill their days with activities and travel. I sometimes feel the newly retired women will one day crash. Why? Because I don't know if what they're doing is sustainable. I don't know if they've faced the deeper issues in life. Will their energy and pocketbook suffer? 

This is not to say retirees or homemakers aren't to enjoy traveling, playing golf, and filling their time with social functions and theatre shows. God wants us to enjoy life. But I wonder when or how they'll wave their flag to say these activities in and of themselves lack deeper life purpose and meaning. 

I myself weigh activities asking myself are they for fun or fulfillment. For instance, if I'm invited out to a party, I ask myself if that's how I want to spend those four hours. I want to focus on that which is fulfilling and that which aligns with my faith and calling.

Find Your Calling

Trained as a life purpose coach, I should support the idea of find your calling and live it. That's the premise of life purpose coaching. But as a human on earth, I know there are barriers. There is a difference between a great idea and having it work out. I've seen it in my own life and in others' lives.  

I craved steady writing or coaching clients, a church that would support my life coach calling, and full attendance at groups I held. In my dream, I'd be paid abundantly for my work. 

In reality, I had more inquiries than clients, the two churches I attended over the years never bought into the life coach concept, and my groups had poor attendance. 

I moved on to writing coaching tools to sell on Amazon. I sold many, much to my surprise. Others have barely sold. I cry out to God as to how I'm supposed to live my calling as a writer if the books aren't going to be bought and read? (I still need this question resolved.) 

The idea of retire and build a new dream can be misleading. Nevertheless, though my attempts let me down, at least I tried. And this is the nature of life in this quieter life phase. It's about being open to God, hearing an idea, catching a vision and taking steps whether it be dead-ended or fruit-bearing. 

What to Do 

If you haven't already taken some assessments to narrow down your strengths and abilities at this age and stage of life, do so. Then grow in them and try things out. Don't expect others to rally around you and doors to swing open. In many cases, that doesn't happen. 

You will undoubtedly experience feelings of caution and ambivalence as you take new steps. 

Unlike a job you may have accepted in the past that came with a job description, feelings of ambivalence are about wandering into an unknown future. In this case, think of Abraham of the Bible who was asked to travel to an unknown destination. Or the children of Israel who followed a pillar of light at night and a cloud by day. They stayed tuned to God and took a step at a time. 

Resolving the Past 

I don't know where you are in your journey but I know many of us pass through the same gates often. I grieved when my 10-year-old went off to camp for a week. I grieved when the house lacked estrogen and my daughter's spunky personality when she left for university. I grieved when she didn't return home after university. I grieved when my beloved pet died. I grieved when my son left again for school. I grieve the job I never returned to. 

Women who leave jobs grieve the job title, peers, and schedule they were used to. 

Letting Go 

While we've been down the familiar road of grief before, now in the quieter life phase we are in another period of release. We release our role as mom as we've known it, employee, or other identities. I've recently let go of my identity as dog owner now that my dog has passed away. 

This letting go process may be welcomed or we may be resistant. I've recently been in a decluttering course. At first, it was easy if not fun to give away items on a free table on my driveway and to give items to charity. Then I hit a wall. I stood back to ask if I was donating items because I needed or wanted to or because the course leader thought I should. I felt resistance. I won't say if it is good or bad resistance, but this is an example of how transitioning to a new life phase can be complicated. 

New Vision

I'm keenly aware of the Bible verses that share the idea that to move forward there may be some of our past we need to let go of.  That's why the decluttering project gave me enthusiasm. I decided God was up to something new so I'd better clear the clutter of the past.  

But sure enough, ambivalence arrived. I said to a friend, "What if at the end of this decluttering there is no new thing?" 

Fortunately, a book I'm currently reading is reassuring me to trust God with the future. A new assignment can come in a day or week and I need to be ready. 

Some days I get new vision. But I'm cautious. I don't want it to be a work of the flesh. I don't want to have the wrong expectations that leave me deeply disappointed. I remind myself not to get ahead of God.

I'm on a journey as are most women. I don't know the future. I do know I want to continue to learn, develop, grow, serve, and give. I want to grow in spiritual truths and in other areas of interest. 

Through the decluttering course, I've learned the joy of giving. I've been introduced to new charities in town. I want to learn more about local charities and their needs. I want to find places to serve others. I want to be a friend and encourage others. 

I don't walk around the house too often not knowing how to spend my time. I can usually find something to do. I have found I'm less motivated to do housework, Christmas decorating, cooking and the like. I'm not sure what I'll do about that. 

As far as what my life roadmap looks like just now, it includes continuing to work on the things I've already been doing and listening for God to bring fresh vision one step at a time. It has also included being disciplined about stopping negative thinking, despair, and ambivalence as soon as it starts. The enemy is out to get all of us and I am being vigilant to stay the course. How about you?





  










Saturday, November 23, 2019

How to Challenge Your Funk



Author bio: Rose Garde was certified as a life coach in 2006. She has been earning a living as a freelance writer since 2010. She writes web content for small businesses, as well as several blogs and Kindle books of her own.  





Cross posted on this blog.


A few years ago when in perimenopause, mood issues plagued me. Perimenopause can hit a woman up to 10 years before she reaches menopause. Some reach menopause earlier than others. The usual range is between age 45 and 56. My symptoms started at around age 48 and I didn't reach menopause until 56. That was a lot of years of ups and downs.

I fell in and out of depression and sought help with my doctor who prescribed me an anti-depressant as well as insisted I see a therapist who could walk me through the fiction versus facts thoughts. At that time, I was also pleased to come across Dr. Joseph Luciani's book

 SELF-COACHING: THE POWERFUL PROGRAM TO BEAT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION,  published in 2006. 

It made so much sense to me.






I still follow Dr. Luciani on Facebook (note, this is a secular book). Today he wrote this post,
 "In the physical world in order to achieve desired results, you must take action. Same is true for your emotions. You may feel victimized by anxiety or depression, but unless you actively challenge the emotional fictions of insecurity that spin in your mind, your desired serenity will never occur. What are emotional fictions? Typically, they’re the doubts, fears, and negatives that we allow to go unchallenged. Start challenging!"

Notice he used the term "fictions." These amount to thoughts we think that aren't necessarily based on truth. They taunt us. Their purpose is to bring us down, cause us to worry, and make us feel unworthy. 

Luciani describes fictional thoughts as doubts, fears, and negatives. They crop up quickly. They are part of our human nature in most cases. 

Christians believe the enemy Satan likes to prey on us by bringing these thoughts to our attention regularly. His goal is to put us out of service to God, and to cause us all types of chaos. 

Recently, I heard of a woman who started recording in a journal any fictional thought that came to her mind. This was her way of becoming alert to them. Then she could challenge them.

Dr. Luciani suggested taking action. Action can be stopping the thought, recording the thought, or challenging the thought. 

One way to challenge your fictional thoughts is to re-write the story that's playing. It can be an interesting and confidence-boosting activity. As Christians, we can go a step further and re-write the thought according to what God thinks of us. 

Your thought may be that you are a failure. To re-write it, you can remind yourself God doesn't make junk. You aren't a finished work. God will pick you up and help you try again. The only plan that matters is His. The real story is that if you are doing your best work as unto God, that's enough. You are enough.

Personally, when I have had a hormonal shift, these types of thoughts were most prevalent. That has been the time I have needed to be most vigilant. I have found at those times when my head already hurts, that it is too hard to challenge the thoughts.  Instead, I turned them off. That means I stopped thinking of them and gave my brain a rest. I often did that through watching mindless TV or in some other way relaxing. 

When I do have the coping ability, I stop them immediately and re-write them as best I can.


  • Could this advice help you to stay out of a mind-rut?  


                                                                           

Monday, November 18, 2019

Offence and Hurt Come Our Way Now and Then



In my last post, I mentioned being called out by the leader of an online course I'm taking during a group webinar. His public answer to my question crushed me. He assumed he knew where I was coming from, but he didn't get the essence of my question. 

The above photo describes how his response hit me. I'm sensitive and I suppose had greater expectations from the leader so was shocked. My spirit was crushed as he went on with his opinion.  

As to how my ears heard his words (as in the above photo), I know these are lies from the enemy. The leader didn't outright say these things, but the enemy whispered them in my ear.

The leader may not have liked my question or attitude, but God likes me and that's what matters. 




Spiral into Depression 

We must stay alert. Spiraling into depression is too easy especially in the dark of fall and winter. 

I'd been housebound for a week due to injuries from a fall, was suffering with Season Affective Disorder symptoms, have been dealing with loud tinnitus, sleeping a lot due to chronic fatigue, and dealing with an unrelenting headache. 

The course leader's scolding added one more brick to my already weary soul plummeting me into depression all weekend long. Rehearsing the scenario and focusing on my anger was to blame.  


____________________________________________

I've been trying not to focus on the offense, but it's been hard. Fortunately, some good readings have helped. 

A recent email newsletter, for instance, pointed out our heart belongs to God and that we should be cautious about human connections. It reminded me that not everyone will have our back or like us. Some people may not agree with us about the simplest things. We can easily be misunderstood. 

Though we base our actions on love, truth, kindness, and prayer, we can still be taken advantage of and hurt. 

To counteract attacks that come our way we must put on spiritual armor, wait for God's intervention, and let God fight our battle. 

At times, we have to accept another person's opinion whether we agree with it or not. 

_____________

Even Jesus suffered offense and rejection. He knows how we feel when it happens to us. 

When we are offended, it's up to us to let God pick us up and then for us to shake off the dust.  That can mean we stop rehearsing the event, and refocus. 

We can also take action like turning away from situations where people are hurting us. 

That is what I did in leaving the Facebook group of the course. Why would I stay where I could be contradicted by some of the meanest people in the group and criticized by the group leader? No, there've been too many incidences by now to continue. 

___________________________

It's up to me to be professional and move on making what the Lord thinks of me my only concern. 

Some things in life we are part of are only for a season, and perhaps my season in that Facebook group is over. I'm asking God to redirect me now. 

I know throughout our journey, we are perpetually tested. It can feel like an assault. But with God on our side, we can use what happens to mature us so we can stand stronger. 

I'm going to try to move forward and to be careful of quick reactions to offenses in the future. And in response to the red photo above: 

I am not bad. 
I am a loved child of God. 
I am valuable.
I am allowed to have an opinion too. 

Friday, November 15, 2019

Have you Ever Felt Verbally Assaulted through Social Media?

This is a continuation of a previous post





In my last post, I talked about the home decluttering I'm doing and how the process is addressing my mindset too. 



Sometimes, during this decluttering process, I stand in a room and ask God how to tackle it.  Not only that, I've asked Him what to do with the items--keep them, toss them, or donate them. 



I have also been asking him what else He wants me to shed. The idea comes from the Bible. We must shed the past in order to embrace the now and our future calling.  



Sometimes it's in retrospect I see what He asked me to shed. Some of the shedding is beyond possessions. 



Here are some examples:



Recently, He's revealed I've been believing lies about my health! I've had chronic muscle stiffness. I'd also hit my head and gotten tinnitus and panic attacks three years ago. I'm tired a lot. I have neck crepitus. I decided I was unhealthy.



I consulted a naturopath and if you look in my cupboard, you'll find I have about twenty natural supplements I've taken in order to fix myself. 



In my mind, I'd blown my health issues up. My husband says I'm a hypochondriac. 



Now, tinnitus is not in my imagination. It's been a beast to fight, but for 3 years, I believed I had some kind of tumor or other issue going on in my neck and head region causing it. My focus has been inward.



But the truth is, my doctor told me my blood tests were better than most she had seen. My blood tests and ecg continue to be excellent. There is no evidence of problems in my system. I need to shed the idea that I'm sickly! I need to shed my hypochondriac self. 



I Shed my Naturopath



I ended up having a falling out with my online naturopath. Unless I bought only her products or listed the other brands I use (the $100+ I was already spending with her wasn't enough I guess), I could no longer have my questions answered in the Facebook Group. I felt strong-armed by her proposal sent by email.



I understand the point of view she shared for me to expect her to comment when she only had part of the picture, but in the instant that I received her message, I felt abused, shamed, and scorned. I was angered.  



I examined what I'd done wrong. Accusing voices hit me. I could give into her manipulation, or I could end our relationship. She could lose me as a customer.



In the next instant, the Lord revealed I was to shed my relationship with her. I was not to make her word, her products, or my health issues an idol.



Wow, I never thought that I would be asked to shed something of this nature. I left her group and will examine what I've been taking and if I really need all I've purchased. 



I Shed Some Facebook Groups



Recently, I had a falling out in a couple of other Facebook groups. One group was for empty-nest women. Many of the women were wallowing in depression. It was a negative place to be. So I shed it.



In another group, a tinnitus group administrator squashed me for a post I made connecting brain health to gut health and diet. He was ending commenting on my post. 



Rather than defend myself, I left the group. I shed my participation in it.  


I also have been trying to shed the amount of time I am on Facebook. (A problem not yet solved.)


I Got Called Out 



Today, I was called out on a Facebook group webinar. My name wasn't mentioned, but it wouldn't be hard for those in the group to find who was being called out. 



I get the point the administrator made. Maybe my post had been arrogant. I'm asking God about that because the devil certainly wants me to believe I have a problem.



Or maybe, just maybe, my words were okay but were received incorrectly. Maybe my words were twisted in the webinar leader's mind. 



Nevertheless, I got called out. And I never did get my post question answered. 



As I sat listening to the scolding, my sensitive heart was being broken yet again. I could hardly believe it. I was very disappointed. 



A friend of mine once called this public scolding as being shame slapped. Now I know how it feels to be publicly shame slapped. But I will neither defend myself or run away. (Although this post might be my passive-aggressive way of shame-slapping back.)





I will ask God to give me clarity. I will seek to separate truth from lies. 



I will seek to learn the lesson. I don't want to be someone people don't like. I don't want to be shame-slapped ever again. I don't want to walk into trouble. 



I will try to shed the power of what other people say about me and I will shed the bait of Satan that comes in the form of offense. 



I've not made my mind up about how I am to proceed. I'm glad I have a caring husband who can hear me out and take my side each time this has occurred. He has suggested I limit my social media interactions. 


When you ask the Lord what He wants you to shed, don't make up your own list. Let Him lead you. You may be very surprised by what He asks you to shed or deal with.


Ask God to clarify lies from truth. Ask Him how you are to set boundaries online, in your thinking, and in your life.