Friday, November 15, 2019

Have you Ever Felt Verbally Assaulted through Social Media?

This is a continuation of a previous post

In my last post, I talked about the home decluttering I'm doing and how the process is addressing my mindset too. 

Sometimes, during this decluttering process, I stand in a room and ask God how to tackle it.  Not only that, I've asked Him what to do with the items--keep them, toss them, or donate them. 

I have also been asking him what else He wants me to shed. The idea comes from the Bible. We must shed the past in order to embrace the now and our future calling.  

Sometimes it's in retrospect I see what He asked me to shed. Some of the shedding is beyond possessions. 

Here are some examples:

Recently, He's revealed I've been believing lies about my health! I've had chronic muscle stiffness. I'd also hit my head and gotten tinnitus and panic attacks three years ago. I'm tired a lot. I have neck crepitus. I decided I was unhealthy.

I consulted a naturopath and if you look in my cupboard, you'll find I have about twenty natural supplements I've taken in order to fix myself. 

In my mind, I'd blown my health issues up. My husband says I'm a hypochondriac. 

Now, tinnitus is not in my imagination. It's been a beast to fight, but for 3 years, I believed I had some kind of tumor or other issue going on in my neck and head region causing it. My focus has been inward.

But the truth is, my doctor told me my blood tests were better than most she had seen. My blood tests and ecg continue to be excellent. There is no evidence of problems in my system. I need to shed the idea that I'm sickly! I need to shed my hypochondriac self. 

I Shed my Naturopath

I ended up having a falling out with my online naturopath. Unless I bought only her products or listed the other brands I use (the $100+ I was already spending with her wasn't enough I guess), I could no longer have my questions answered in the Facebook Group. I felt strong-armed by her proposal sent by email.

I understand the point of view she shared for me to expect her to comment when she only had part of the picture, but in the instant that I received her message, I felt abused, shamed, and scorned. I was angered.  

I examined what I'd done wrong. Accusing voices hit me. I could give into her manipulation, or I could end our relationship. She could lose me as a customer.

In the next instant, the Lord revealed I was to shed my relationship with her. I was not to make her word, her products, or my health issues an idol.

Wow, I never thought that I would be asked to shed something of this nature. I left her group and will examine what I've been taking and if I really need all I've purchased. 

I Shed Some Facebook Groups

Recently, I had a falling out in a couple of other Facebook groups. One group was for empty-nest women. Many of the women were wallowing in depression. It was a negative place to be. So I shed it.

In another group, a tinnitus group administrator squashed me for a post I made connecting brain health to gut health and diet. He was ending commenting on my post. 

Rather than defend myself, I left the group. I shed my participation in it.  

I also have been trying to shed the amount of time I am on Facebook. (A problem not yet solved.)

I Got Called Out 

Today, I was called out on a Facebook group webinar. My name wasn't mentioned, but it wouldn't be hard for those in the group to find who was being called out. 

I get the point the administrator made. Maybe my post had been arrogant. I'm asking God about that because the devil certainly wants me to believe I have a problem.

Or maybe, just maybe, my words were okay but were received incorrectly. Maybe my words were twisted in the webinar leader's mind. 

Nevertheless, I got called out. And I never did get my post question answered. 

As I sat listening to the scolding, my sensitive heart was being broken yet again. I could hardly believe it. I was very disappointed. 

A friend of mine once called this public scolding as being shame slapped. Now I know how it feels to be publicly shame slapped. But I will neither defend myself or run away. (Although this post might be my passive-aggressive way of shame-slapping back.)

I will ask God to give me clarity. I will seek to separate truth from lies. 

I will seek to learn the lesson. I don't want to be someone people don't like. I don't want to be shame-slapped ever again. I don't want to walk into trouble. 

I will try to shed the power of what other people say about me and I will shed the bait of Satan that comes in the form of offense. 

I've not made my mind up about how I am to proceed. I'm glad I have a caring husband who can hear me out and take my side each time this has occurred. He has suggested I limit my social media interactions. 

When you ask the Lord what He wants you to shed, don't make up your own list. Let Him lead you. You may be very surprised by what He asks you to shed or deal with.

Ask God to clarify lies from truth. Ask Him how you are to set boundaries online, in your thinking, and in your life. 

Thursday, November 14, 2019

What Lies are You Believing? What do you Need to Shed? Who is Your Fantasy Self?

I sometimes cross-post blog posts with my Midlife Woman blog, but instead, I'll refer you to it here

The post is about my process of decluttering my home. I've realized I'm being decluttered mentally and spiritually while in the depths of this process of decluttering my home. 

One of the topics discussed with my group recently is that of our fantasy self. This is actually a deep topic that I'm not sure I can do justice to here. 

The Fantasy Self

The fantasy self is that woman we imagine we want to be or who we think we are. But the proof is in the pudding. It's in the fruit we bear. 

For instance, I'm not a world-class birthday cake baker if I never bake cakes or dislike baking. 

In my course, we are taught we are free to pass on our Cuisinart mixer or food processor to someone else if it's not being used by us. Doing so will free us from pressure we might put on ourselves as that would-be fantasy Betty Crocker. 

What Lies Do You Need to Lay Down?

To be fully US means to lay down lies. Now, I don't mean we intentionally lie to people about who we are. Sometimes we lie to ourselves and don't even know it. Sometimes the enemy Satan lies to us and we believe him. In our human nature, we get off course. 

In the Uncluttered Course I'm taking, one of the women in the group pointed out that she had many gardening books she has never referred to. She wants to down-size her collection. 

I also have some. I may have flipped through them now and then, but I've never really become that magnificent gardener I dreamed of being. 

Now, I know I'm not too old and it's not too late to delve into gardening, but most of what I need to know is on the Internet. I don't need a library of books in our home.

If I'm not going to read my gardening books over the next six months, I am living in fantasy world. It's a world I must demolish if I'm to live authentically. Gardening is one of my passions, but I'm okay with being a mediocre gardener.

Dreams and Visions

I believe in dreaming, creating a vision statement, and setting goals. Doing so is healthy. 

But some gurus teach us to reach out to become something God never intended us to be. Or, we start down one track and spin our wheels there beyond the time we're to move on. 

I'm feeling that way about life coaching. When obtaining clients and hosting groups started to decline, I turned to writing coaching tools in the form of ebooks instead of looking for private clients to coach. 

When I write a book I add the word "life coach" to the front beside my name. I figure it adds to my platform--it validates my writing. After all, I did spend money to take the training and I am a natural life coach. I've been blessed to have sold many self-coaching ebooks as a result. 

But there is a bit of a fantasy-self dancing around in there too. I'm not really going to try to be a fulltime life coach again right now, and I sure can't make a living on Kindle book sales.

I'm not ready to declutter all my coaching books and pass them on, but I am parting with some. It's time to lay life coaching down. As a result, I've also decluttered my website and removed the life coaching section. I'm heeding the insight of what I know and putting to rest this fantasy woman. 

Where is God Working in Your Life?

On a podcast I recently listened to, the speaker suggested if something isn't working out, God's hand isn't on it. And if God's hand IS on it, we need to rest in His timing not our own. 

The speaker also challenged listeners who were in search of life purpose to try new things. They will find out quickly what they aren't cut out for and they may just fall into that which they crave. 

There have been many things I've done or tried that haven't worked out. It doesn't make sense. It makes me sad, not glad. I want to be effective just as anyone does. But I can still take the lessons from it, put it down, and try something new. 

What is Your Fantasy?

Is there a fantasy self within? Do you have books, decor, or equipment just sitting there not being used because they are part of your past? Do you have bins full of fabric and sewing tools because making your own clothes sounded like a great idea at one time? What else did you start and not finish because it was a passing whim?

What have you tried that didn't work? Are you willing to part ways with the remnants that are left in your home or in your mind in order to start fresh?

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Life Transformation

A friend of mine once told me doing housework is therapeutic. I don't know what it meant to her, but I know doing so becomes an activity that makes me look inward. I do tend to deal with a lot of stuff while cleaning my home. 

When equipped with the "just do it" attitude and not a "begrudging" attitude, the thoughts can flow. I can challenge my thinking. I get ideas. I feel useful.

I knew with fall's arrival I'd need a new project. Cleaning the garage hadn't made it onto my list of chores over the summer, so the idea of getting to the excess clutter in the garage is what compelled me to sign up for Joshua Becker's Uncluttered course

I had a need to go through some of my Mother-in-law's items stored there, I had a need for a set of new goals for fall, but also I wanted my thinking challenged regarding my home's possessions as my husband and I are in the empty nest again. 

Going through the process of uncluttering is challenging. My thinking has been challenged on many fronts. I know what I want to accomplish during this course practically, but for the rest of my life, that's still a bit of an unknown. 

Letting Go

The entire idea of letting go, though, is timely as I am letting go of my adult children more and more.  And with no inlaws left on my husband's side, my own mom being elderly, my and my spouse's siblings having their own families to look after, and my own children developing their own lives, I've been put in a position to let go of traditions and other expectations.

We may make new traditions, but I doubt it. I think my mindset is to live in the now--making the most of every opportunity, being present, enjoying the beauty in daily activities.

My dog of 14 years also passed away. I've been freed of her loving and loyal attachment that was far beyond necessary. She wore herself out following me around. I was her joy and she mine. She can rest now and play in heaven, and I now feel peace and freedom to start fresh in new areas. 

What do I want to become? Healthy, happy, loving, inspiring, available.

How will I do that? Well, that's for my personal journal. 

How about you, re-read the meme at the top of the page as often as you need to. Develop your own set of answers.

Friday, October 18, 2019

A New Goal I Have for Fall

We all thrive on goals. I've signed up for Joshua Becker's "Uncluttered" course to complete over the next 11 weeks. I'm so glad I did. Not only am I going to declutter my home, I'm learning as I go.

I did spring cleaning earlier this summer and realized it was time to update many areas of my home. I also need to dispense some items we gathered from my mother-in-law's home in 2018 after she passed away.

My husband and I are in the empty nest (though my son may return), so it's time for a new season. 

Being Teachable 

I'm learning from others in the course. The first week has been a lot of prep--mostly mentally. 

The women are sharing authentically. I'm learning I'm not alone in some of my thinking. I'm learning some have a bigger problem with clutter than I. Clutter and how we feel about it is as much an emotional issue as it is a possession issue. 

Managing Life's Junk

Possessions become things we have to manage. It's part of life. Shoes get in the way and we trip over them. Other things break or wear out and we have to figure out how best to dispose of them. In the meantime, we are tempted to leave them in a corner. 

Some in the group are grieving the loss of a spouse, a sister, a friend, or a pet. Depression has caused some to become unmotivated. Some are depressed because of their clutter. Some work so much their energy is spread too thin. Some have health issues and can't seem to find the energy to take care of things. Since women mostly manage the homes, it is mostly women in the group. 

So much is involved--mentally, spiritually, and physically. Some has to do with family members' habits and a lot has to do with our own habits. 

Once we de-clutter, most of us will need to learn habit change. 

Great Mottos

I'm gathering profound resolutions from other women. I've posted a couple above and here: 

All in all, I am being transformed. I find myself using my spiritual gift of encouragement with others in our private Uncluttered Course Facebook Group. I'm trying to remain humble. As I purge my mother-in-law's items, I feel I'm honoring her. There is something spiritual about it. We are to be good stewards of what God has given us. I am also praying for wisdom of what to do with each item I need to dispense with.  

A Pattern Revealed

Today on my Facebook memory wall were posts from previous years that had to do with organization. Maybe it's the time of year--like squirrels making a nest--I'm clearing my nest. 

But the memory posts revealed something else. They revealed I have a passion for this kind of thing--decluttering and organizing. I really hope I can use this passion to help others in the days ahead.

Do you have new goals for yourself? 

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Challenge Yourself with This Simple Exercise

This is the remnants of the first blog I wrote after coaching certification. I have many blogs now and a new one for the older Christian woman. Please have a look if interested. 

I learned years ago one approach to getting out of a funk is to change life up. It can be as simple as driving a new way to work, eating lunch somewhere different, trying a new toothpaste, and so on. 

Last week, I had time to explore. I went to a large store and challenged myself to wander the aisles I don't usually wander. I prayed first because impulse shopping has gotten me into trouble more than once. I didn't want to buy something for the sake of buying it. 

So I wandered into the sports aisle, the camping aisle, and a few others. I got to see what new gizmos are being sold. I think the funniest thing I spotted was this tree trunk cushion. I suppose if you're a camper and find sitting on a tree trunk hard, you might want this. ??

This gives me something for conversation. I'm more enlightened now. And, if someone talks about some other object I may have come across, I'm all the wiser. 

Why not do this yourself? Consider it an assignment to walk through a new store or a new section of a store you're familiar with. Your plan is not to find something to purchase, just to educate yourself and grow in your thinking. Then identify the most unusual thing you spotted. Leave a comment below. 

Saturday, October 05, 2019

My Journey as an At-Home Mom into the Life Coaching World

I was an at-home mom and homemaker for many years. You might say, I'm still home. It's been God's calling for me. 

Over time, I applied for jobs and took on temporary gigs but always ended back on the home front. 

It took a lot for me to find my way in life as there'd been a long war within my soul about a craving something meaningful to do outside the home. 

I'd worked before having children so new the perks a job might offer. I'd made a promise to myself I would one day return to work. But with raising children, the idea of working paled. I couldn't find the right thing that convinced me to give up the perfect life I already had for a paid job. 

We got a dog who filled my time a little more as I tried to unravel God's next calling on my life aside from my home and family.

I was never one for turning on the TV during the day, but one day did and uncovered the TV show called Starting Over

For the first time, I learned about the career of life coaching. Soon enough, the show had me hooked. I loved seeing the featured women go through exercises and transform their lives. I recall thinking, if these women could invite God into the transformation, the process would be so much more powerful. 

I guess God had me in an incubator at that time because a new path was soon revealed.  

While grocery shopping (of all places to find a book), I spotted and purchased Katie Brazelton's book Pathway to Purpose for WomenNext, I saw Brazelton was going to be a chat guest on a Christian online forum, so set aside the time.

I attended and participated in the chat, and before the day ended, Brazelton had called me in Canada (from California) to introduce me to something spectacular--A CHRISTIAN-FOCUSED LIFE COACHING COURSE.

Leaping Lizards!!! God had revealed my next calling in a BIG WAY. I was more than excited. 

The way this all came together, I knew God was working and wanted me to take the course! 

I tried to share this phenomenal chain of events with other women at my church, but they didn't get it. I felt unsupported up in Winnipeg, Canada where no one had even heard about life coaching. (circa 2005).

When God speaks to you, it is often 
ONLY YOU He shares the vision with.

While taking the course, I was required to be coached myself. I looked forward to it because I'd been spinning my wheels for far too long. I needed to share my life path with a trusted woman.

I scanned the biographies of available coaches. I didn't want someone with a PhD. I didn't want a career woman. I didn't want someone who might be condescending finding out I was an at-home mom for so many years. 

(Yes, sadly, there are condescending coaches. Some were my instructors and I won't share here what they said to me, but it was off-putting. How dare they insult the calling God had put on my life!)

I chose Kris, of Idaho. I chose her because of the emphasis her bio had on caring for her family. I needed a coach who would understand my calling of supporting my family.  

I set up my kitchen table with a candle, note pads, and kept my eye on the clock, and with nervous excitement, made my call to Kris. She and I worked through the 10 chapters of Conversations on Purpose for Women .

I passed the course and became a certified life coach. As I reflect on that journey, I am aware there are likely women who would like a coach who understands family dynamics and caters to the woman who chose to be an at-home mom. 

I have carved out some other avenues of work beyond homemaking now as a writer and author and I undertook a few other odd jobs, but I am still very much an at-home mom, homemaker advocate. 

I'm willing to repond to emails about the possibility of coaching or just simply offering what guidance I can to my readers. Please feel free to contact me here.  

My Style as a Life Coach

I had an incident recently where someone told me she didn't see me as a coach. I was a little insulted, but then I realized it didn't matter how she saw me. Her opinion doesn't validate my coaching ability. She's never worked with me on that level. 

God gifts each of us differently. My approach to living is vastly different from that woman's. That she doesn't see me as a coach doesn't mean I've not been trained, certified, and effective. 

Old photo of daughter and her cousin

My coaching has to do with motherhood, raising a family, trying to find unique life purpose, taking steps, seeking God, identifying passions and, more or less, being a safe person to talk to. 

My skill is to hear beneath a woman’s words. I’m a woman of faith and vision and my spiritual gifts are encouragement and discernment.

I want my clients to feel supported and care so much I sometimes worry they won't find what they are looking for. 

But I trust the results to God. My coaching is Christian-focused with a strong reliance on asking what God wants and looking at his timing.

I know other coaches in person and virtually.who are more consultants than coaches. Others are business growth coaches, health and fitness coaches. 

Lately, I life coach through written tools. The tools tell stories and ask a lot of questions. I've led groups, and have coached many women one-on-one by telephone. I love email coaching too. I'm always pondering new avenues. 

If you choose a coach, choose someone who matches your personality or goals. 

If you want to investigate coaching with me, inquire here

Tuesday, October 01, 2019

New Book for New Moms

I've been working on a new for new Christian moms for what seems like forever. While a larger book has had multiple edits, I decided a shorter Kindle book on the idea of becoming an at-home mom might be a better book to launch. 

About to be released in the next 72 hours is this book

This book is for the new mom who is about to return to work and wants reassurance, the mom who is unsure if she wants to return to work after her maternity leave, or the mom of a tot who is working but pondering leaving her career. 

Have a look and see if it will help you in your decision-making process. 

Thursday, September 05, 2019

:Listening for God

I listen to the Today's Show Joyce Meyer Enjoying Everyday Life broadcast almost each night. I find her talks highly relevant. They seem to always apply to something I'm struggling with. They often emphasize something the Holy Spirit has already nudged me about--like last night's watching what I say (my words) more. 

One night she said something profound I knew was for me: That she doesn't sit around trying to hear from God because she trusts that when or if God has something new to say to her, He'll make sure she hears it. In the meantime, she carries on with what He's already assigned. 

This was important for me to hear because I've been prone to spend time listening for God so hard it hurts my ears. I have often walked away from such sessions having learned nothing new. 

So Joyce suggests keeping busy with what we've been assigned and not wasting time worrying about hearing something new and specific from God. He will let us know the new thing at the right time.

Wednesday, August 07, 2019

Be Ready to Change in Your Mom Role

I just read a post I'd made in Facebook that came up on my memory wall. 


Me: "I feel a little crazy with both kids home." (they were home from university).

Kids: "Why aren't there any cold cuts? I'm hungry, when is dinner? I need to go glasses shopping, I need new contacts..."

Me: $1000 in eye care spent in three days. 

In the partly empty nest, we flip flop in our role as mom. I was glad to have a sense of freedom when they moved out, but they expected the same old mom when they came home for weekends or holidays. That was something to get used to. What boundaries would I set?

Well-before that, I knew my role was changing. A book on the seasons of parenting tipped me off to change from mentor to cheerleader--to step back and not helicopter. 

But I've found, no matter what we think, we get surprised. Our child develops their own independent attitude--one with traits we might not like.  They may make decisions we don't agree with. We are tempted to set them straight.

We also can't expect all children to be the same. How we deal with our child depends on the personality of the child. My son has needed far more prompting and assistance than my more self-assured daughter.

Not everyone will understand why I do what I do, and that's okay. 

From Dr. Phil Show

I recently watched a doctor Phil show that disturbed me as I don't feel the mom had come to terms with the idea her daughter had grown up and that she needed to change her parenting style.

Yes, the daughter may have had a brain issue which caused her angry outbursts (her birth mother had taken drugs while pregnant), but the parents way of dealing with her now as a teen was, in my opinion, clearly part of her rebellion problem. 

The mom had rules you might give a five-year old. It was well past time to change her parenting style. From observation, I felt this mother may have been stuck in fear of losing a role she loved. 

One thing the mom wanted to control was her teen's cell phone activity. I know it is an oxymoron when Dr. Phil says to protect your teen by being aware of what they're doing online, but at the same time to not rip away their independence. It is a fine-line. 

This mom would take away the teen's phone which is why she rebelled in many cases.Taking away technology today is like rolling up the sidewalk and breaking off a teen's social life.

For most of us--adults too--technology use is a must. There is no differentiation between using it for work and pleasure. Teens need it for school work, to get messages from classmates and friends, and to use it for fun. 

I could be wrong, but I sensed the mom wanted to control the teen perhaps too much or in the wrong ways, which may be partly due to her not wanting her own role as mom to change. But her role must change. 

If you're a mom feeling a lot of tension between a teen or early 20-yr old, look at your parenting style. There comes a point when you need to trust the training you've done with your child and let them go. You need to take the role of pray-er and trust God to direct your child. 

A child who makes decisions on their own will learn from them. They will develop confidence when things go well, and learn to do things differently when things don't go well. 

Making decisions is the way God develops character in all of us. By backing off and trusting God, you will find more peace and freedom. 

When you feel frustrated ask God to show you if you are taking on worry you don't need to. Ask God if you are being too controlling. Set some boundaries about how far you will step in with opinions. Let your child grow up and separate from you successfully. 

Above all, show love and approval more than distrust and disgust. 

Monday, August 05, 2019

Miracles, Fasting, and Word Pictures

Miracles happen at the same time as travesties hit. It's hard to understand God at times. 

I won't go into detail of the events that led me to write that statement just now. All I know is we can be giddy over one person's blessing and deeply grieved over another's tragedy all in the same day. 

Recently, it dawned on me I should back away from my daily bootcamp commitment for a month. It is like work to me. Daily I have to decide if I'm going to attend or not. I have to shuffle other responsibilities and paid work around it. 

With it being summer, I have plenty of yard work to complete and I want to do some day trips with my husband. Recognizing this gave me the push to cancel a month of membership to take a break.


Often, in life coaching, we urge clients to fast so they can hear from God clearer. I realized today that my August away from from the gym WILL be a fast of sorts--I'll be fasting bootcamp. While I have enough to concern myself with otherwise, the deeper issues of my heart will have more time to flow. 

When I step back in mindfulness, I can often hear God's leading better. New ideas emerge.

I'm looking forward to this period of fasting. I will need to be intentional about seeking God, studying and will need to jot down notes. 

A Word Picture Arose

Recently, as I've been working on a number of projects, a term popped up to describe how I feel about my role. The word God gave me is CONDUIT. 

God seems to be saying I am his conduit--a person who is a go-between, an extension of his love to others.  

I was formally trained to be an administrative assistant. Some of my work in that area is a natural gifting. When I go to work for finding a solution for my son, husband, or so on, I am being their administrative assistant. But when add in prayer, I am more than an administrative assistant, I am a conduit.  

I have always been a CONNECTOR of sorts, but this term CONDUIT is a little more descriptive. I've already done a bit of a Google search on Bible studies on the theme. I'm sure more will be revealed in the days ahead. 

I suppose I'll ask God to show me people and places where he wants me to be his conduit in the days ahead. 

Have you ever been given such a word picture for your life?  

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Pause, Pray, Listen in Your Daily Tasks

I was about to host a group for a pool party and lunch. No matter what others say, I knew some would look around to "see" my house inside. For that reason, I've resisted entertaining. I hate housework. But I decided it was time to stretch and share the home and yard God has blessed our family with. 

So I made a list of over 20 tasks to accomplish from cleaning the patio chairs to wiping down my kitchen cupboards that were looking worn. It was like spring cleaning, though by now it was the middle of summer. 

For three weeks, I poured myself into the exhausting task list. It was incredible. Now that it's over, it's hard to imagine all I did. 

Anyhow, a speaker I admire and listen to regularly pointed out we should focus on what God calls us to and if we stretch beyond his calling a sure sign is frustration. 

I repeatedly asked God if I was stepping beyond.

I was reminded, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I was reminded what God calls me to do, he enables me to complete. 

Pause, Pray, Listen 

I used the pause, pray, and listen routine through these three weeks of chores. I told God I didn't want to stretch beyond his plan, but that I surely needed him for motivation and energy. 

During the three weeks, using this method, creativity poured out of me. God was at work, allowing me to see what I needed to see, helping me find what I needed to find, and helping me complete the tasks. I think there was only one task left undone--wiping down the track of the back door guests would use. I suppose I should do that soon.

It's a good way to live--seeking God's agenda daily. Staying within the lines of his plan. Sensing frustration is not of him. Keeping my mind and energy strong by depending on him to strengthen me. I recommend you follow these guidelines too. 

Monday, June 24, 2019

Stay Close to Jesus/God even When Building Your Business

So many speakers suggest we are in a holding pattern, perhaps being tested, perhaps building character for that one day big assignment. 

That kind of thinking helps many, but reality is, not all will get bigger assignments. If they decide today is just training ground, will they miss the value of today? 

What if today contained your biggest assignment? What if all the other years of happiness, education, grief, and struggle culminated together so you could do one important thing today. You may know what that important thing was or you may not see it. 

Don't spend your time waiting for something bigger. Do all you can do today with the energy you have. Trust God to use you. 

How do you start your day? 

I start mine inviting God into it. I ask him to plan my day and put his thoughts into my mind. 

One woman said she runs her life by checklists. She's driven. But, alas, by Monday, she feels flat because even her spiritual life and weekend has been merely something on a checklist. She's more or less running her life on maintenance mode while supposedly building her home business. 

Do you live that way? Driven by checklists and evaluations? 

I'd like to suggest if it isn't working for you, if you don't have peace that comes from knowing God, that you remind yourself of these Bible truths: 

"But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these. things shall be added unto you." (Matt 6:23)

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." (John 15:1-4 NIV)

This verse is pretty clear that your checklist will get you no-where without giving the vine (Jesus) authority to direct you. Take time to be with Jesus/God every morning. Be flexible to change your schedule. One day all you do will no longer matter. What you do for God will matter. Do your best right where God has placed you and learn to live by the checklist God impresses you with.