Thursday, November 24, 2016

Variety of Coaching Styles

I had an incident recently where someone told me they didn't see me as a coach. I was a little insulted, but then I realized it didn't matter how she saw me. Her opinion doesn't validate my coaching ability. 

Maybe she meant I didn't seem like the kind of coach she'd want to use and that's okay for me because she isn't my ideal client anyhow. 

I'm not an extrovert. I'm not a speaker. Contrary to what some in the coaching circles think, to coach you don't have to also speak. 

There are some women who are gifted speakers. Many good speakers are extroverts. Extroverts often assume everyone can become a speaker if they will only join a toastmasters group and practice. Some extroverts love networking. Some women have to network to keep business flowing in. Some network to feel important. Unless a coach is out there networking and speaking, they aren't seen as a typical coach. 

And then there's me. Say what you will, God has not called me to network broadly or to speak publicly. At least not at present. And that's okay. I wish to be respected for that stance, not insulted for it. 

I don’t strive to become a speaker. It’s not my strength or even my desire, so don’t expect me to sign up for a toastmasters group. One value I hold is that I don’t feel it’s valuable to work on my weaknesses. I'm all for habit change and taking occasional risks, but I don't think developing my weaknesses is my best use of my time or skills. 

My priorities include accepting and loving how God made me and working on the strengths he's revealed to me. 

Apparently after a personality test, I'm one of 4% of the population in my personality category. I'm like a nearly extinct animal. As such, I'm compelled to follow the path I feel God puts me on. He doesn't expect an elephant to be a monkey does he? Then why might someone suggest the elephant take monkey training?

I know several life coaches in person and virtually. Again, many are extroverts. Many are business coaches. Just because I’m not like them doesn’t mean I’m not a good coach. I may not be the coach for them. I’m mostly an introvert—a deep thinking and perceptive introvert. I can be outgoing in certain circles, but I value solitude more than group activity. My skill is to hear beneath a woman’s words. I’m a woman of faith and vision and my spiritual gifts are encouragement and discernment. 

When I watch detective shows with my husband, I can almost always point out the guilty party. I sometimes can finish sentences and may quickly figure out what has occurred. For instance, one man was pulled into the NCIS coroner's office with a blunt force trauma to the head. I told my husband it didn't necessarily mean he was struck with something. He could have fallen into a desk, or other object either through violence or by accident. Sure enough, it was determined the head injury was due to the man hitting his head on a desk. 

I'm intuitive. I'm discerning. I often see problems before they occur. I often wouldn't do things the way someone else plans to do it. Why? Because I see the potential for problems. 

I have found in life it takes courage to be different. I've been a different bird, so to speak, all my life. I won’t often stand out in a setting and that’s okay. I’m not a people-pleaser.  I’m a committed God-pleaser. Though I may not be understood, and though others may miss seeing my value and the potential I offer them, I'm an overcomer. I don't need to be like everyone else around me and I don't need everyone to see me as a coach.