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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Do Yourself a Favour and Be Kind to Yourself

I'm presently deep at work on a midlife ebook.  Visit my blog at www.midlifechristianwoman.blogspot.com to read more.






One of the discoveries I've made over the years is that most women have issues of one sort or another. Issues may be short-lived, long and troubling or re-occurring. 

We all put on pretty faces, but deep within there can be chaos brewing.

If you feel you're in the midst of chaos, reach out to someone.  Either a professional or a friend.  Talk it out. 

Then take time for self care.  Say no to those issues or individuals that are troubling you. 

Do small things for yourself.

Yesterday I revamped my bedroom closet and vacuumed out the dust bunnies.  It's part of self-care.  I feel more organized with an organized closet, and it gives me more peace.  I also do my nails regularly because, if I don't, they break or splinter.  I feel better with well-kept nails.  I take naps when I need to.  I pull back from technology intentionally.  I sit with my husband and visit with my young adult children.  I try to pace myself. 

I've made progress on living in contentment.  I've learned that if I don't make an article sale in a week, coach a client for pay, or get a transcription project, that it's merely God telling me to do something else.  I've come to terms with my current level of personal income.  In God's kingdom the commodity is more than money anyhow.

These tips are offered from my heart to yours.  Now, what would you add to this list?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Maybe You Don't Need to Change





Perhaps the best realization for a woman is to realize she's right where she's meant to be and she's "normal".  She's normal to have mixed feelings.  She's normal to have struggles....Get it?


Life coaching, of course, often focuses on change.  So if a woman is where she's meant to be or normal, why would she need change?

Perhaps the best revelation she can make through a session is that the change needed to take place is in her thinking.  She might have become unnecessarily self-condemning causing her to think she needs change desperately.  She might have lost joy due to wrong focus.

A few things that become problematic for women are:

  • their propensity to compare themselves to others
  • their propensity to always want more or new and feeling frustrated by confinements of money 
  • their propensity to be action oriented
  • their propensity to self-loath their looks
  • their propensity to moodiness
  • their propensity to blame others for their unhappiness  
  • their propensity to expect things from God that he doesn't intend for them
  • their propensity to resist the idea of suffering or sacrifice 

SO IS SEEKING CHANGE WRONG?

Seeking change isn't necessarily wrong.  Tweaks to a woman's life help her navigate her calling.  Change is necessary, often, to stay motivated.  Change is often suggested to her by God.

But, change can be wrong if the change she's seeking is from her own desires and not necessarily God's.  Usually this type of forced change will result in frustration.

Wanting change before she's finished an aspect of her calling can be frustrating.  Say, for a time, God puts her into a very self-sacrificing situation.  Constantly trying to change it before God gives the okay leads to a sense of striving doomed to fail.

SELF COACHING

I write these life coaching articles so that a reader can take a step forward without having a paid-for coaching session.

What I want you to realize is that you aren't alone.  Your struggles are common.

Call on God.  See your life through his perspective.  Ask for change, if you like.  Ask him to govern those changes.  Ask him to help you make the small changes in your life that will help you complete your calling better.  Ask him mostly to change your perspective.  Ask him to give you evidence that you are right where you are meant to be.  Ask him to give you the strength, patience and contentment you need right now to see your current assignment through.

and most of all...don't be so hard on yourself.