Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Are You in the Doubt Zone?

Most of us come to a point where we enter "doubt zone."  It may be mingled with boredom.

It may come on after finishing a major project.  It may come on when sales, blog or website analytics are low, or likes or follows are low or declining.  It may come on when something we were counting on doesn't come to pass.  It usually comes on when we find we aren't making traction, when we've been housebound too long. when we need a change.

There are some that say if something's not working walk away, give up, find something new and better.  But that's not always the best advice.

How to Walk Through Doubt Zone

Life is rarely constant.  We spiral up and down.
A more realistic approach to dealing with doubt is to decide you're going to see it as a phase and walk though it.  Give it to God, look after your health, give yourself time to rebound.  Resist making a radical change off your path.  Changes to your path should be made when you're thinking straight and advocating for yourself from a healthy place and as God reveals.

I walk through doubt by taking walks, taking supplements, looking after my sleep habits, diverting my attention to other interests, getting exercise, watching what I eat, and visiting new places.

I also might read a new book or devotional.  I definitely journal, and I will listen more intentionally to God.  I will pray for relief and clarity.

How do you process periods of doubt?  Do you have a plan?  

Create a Hope Book 

I'm thinking we should all make a "Hope" book.  It would be a journal we write in on the days we're energized, on-point, full of faith, seeing God's hand, having good results, envisioning new dreams. It could include Bible verses and positive quotes.

A hope book can become something we turn to when in a period of doubt.  

What do you think?  Would something like a Hope Book help you?  

If you don't have one to turn to today and are in doubt, hang on.  Change your scenery.  Go for a walk. Put your project aside.  Do a surrender exercise by giving your doubts to God. 

Let me know how you make out by adding a comment below.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

What Does a Life Coaching Session Look Like?

Coaching of any sort is complicated.  Sports coaches tell their teams what to do. They may be more hard-nosed critics than they are cheerleaders.

Because of the sports coaching model so many are used to, it can be hard for some to understand what a life coach, business coach, health coach, etc. might do differently.  Even some coaches I've crossed paths with get the role mixed up. Some do too much talking on the calls the client has payed for.

Further, any coach you use should be certified and meet the standards of the International Coaching Federation.  There are a lot of coaches who have received no formal training as coaches.  You can still use them if you wish.  Just know there are different forms of training.

What Does a Life Coaching Session Look Like?

Technically, a life coach doesn't tell you what to do.  She may speak from experience if it helps move you further along in your journey.  Typically, though, a coach asks good questions.  She tries to not come across judgmental.  That's hard at times.  If a health coach asks you about your food journal, for instance, you may hear hesitation in her voice when she hears you say cookies, cakes, chips and take it as judgment.  Coaches can find themselves put on the spot as easily as clients can.

Coaching Versus Consulting

Even I flub at times.  I try to discern at the beginning of an interaction whether the client expects consultation with coaching.  I ask.  I ask how much homework she wants.  I love to give homework, but a client can easily feel overwhelmed by it. I ask if she wants to be challenged or work at her own pace. 

Sometimes a client will work through a bunch of assessments or a curriculum. These require a lot of reading and processing on the client's part.

Coaching by Email 

One method I offer is coaching by email.  It's a great tool for the woman who wants to remain anonymous or who wants to type out her thoughts.  It's a good way to clear her head. 

My Style 

I've been complimented on my ability to "counsel" women on a chat network. It seems to come naturally from me.  I've been complimented when my skills naturally rise to the surface in some group settings.  I have been told I have the ability to get to the heart of the matter for some people.  

If you'd like to try coaching by email, drop me a line.  See if it works for you. You can pay with Paypal.  We can get started right away.  

(My roster is currently full where telephone coaching is concerned.  But check back with me in six months if interested.)  

I look forward to hearing from you. 

Monday, March 30, 2015

New eBook for Midlife Christian Women

Introducing my new eBook.  What started out as a short workbook, led to months of editing.  And, it's finally up on Amazon.  

This book will take you through a number of exercises that will help you narrow down your top five essential passions and help you find life direction. 

I'm not you, you're not me, so I have no idea if you'll connect with what I've written.  All I know is I sought new direction for years and became very disappointed when I couldn't seem to find what it is God wanted me to spend my time on that would be as meaningful as my role of raising my children.  Then I had an epiphany.  Through a passion and purpose hunt, I narrowed down my top five passions and dedicated myself to developing them.

Now, you may think you know your top five passions.  Maybe you do.  I pretty much knew mine, but in the end after going through the template I created, saw a switch. Actually, I had about 20 passions at the time, and the problem was I kept flip flopping on what to work on.  I'd look into courses for this, that, and the other thing.  I applied for all types of jobs.  I thought of joining all types of groups. I discovered, too many passions kept me from feeling focused.

I recall a time years ago when I had no new dreams.  That scared me.  I think I was about 48.  I was leading a group of women, encouraging them to capture their dreams, but I had none!  I also recall battling between my moods in a flip flopping role of part-time empty nest mom.  I needed to find my own grounding. 

If you're looking for some new guidance about what to spend your time on next in midlife, this book may help you.  Only currently available in Kindle format on Amazon but can be read on any electronic device such as your computer, laptop, iPad, phone, etc. 

I don't publicize it for the money.  Heck, I'll never recoup enough money for the hours and hours I spent writing and editing it!  Even the price you'll see isn't what I receive.  My goal is to get my message out to help other women.  


Monday, March 23, 2015

Women and Moods

Make Your Dreams a Reality!

Many women think a lot.  We wonder.  We ponder.  We analyze.  We are sometimes proud of our wisdom, and sometimes annoyed at the over-analysis we do.  Our own thoughts bring us down many times.  We live in perception instead of getting the facts straight.  Sometimes, we project our feelings on unsuspecting people. 

We might be peaceful and joyful one day, and down and low in confidence the next.  It's just so much to handle!

Sometimes thoughts are driven by overwhelm, tiredness, or physical pain. Getting rest will be helpful.

Sometimes thoughts are associated with a process of grieving. We grieve changes.  We grieve losses. Grieving is a normal part of letting go. Small spurts of grief are healthy. It's okay to feel pain.  .
Some feelings are driven by melancholy. This might include focusing on the good old days, the old friends, you years as a preschool child's mother. Sometimes a movie, music or possession triggers sad feelings. 

Feelings aren't bad.  They're part of the human condition.  But it's not good to get stuck in them. We all benefit from learning how to process our feelings.

Move On

Author Susan Miller says it's helpful to feel feelings and then move back into the present quickly.  She suggests a woman learn to cherish good times, but to be cautious of clinging to them.  A good way to move on is to train your brain to focus on new goals.  Another way to move on is to consider possibilities.  Thinking positive thoughts is always helpful.

When overcome by moods, it can be helpful to simply look at what is in front of you and tend to the associated tasks. 

If moodiness is sticking around, maybe it's time for a physical checkup, change of scenery, time to change something you're doing in your life.


Having times of peaceful Bible reading and prayer is key to managing moods.  Try reading through the Book of Psalms.  Sit in a relaxing pose and do deep breathing.   

Drink water.  Do things you enjoy.  Let your creativity out.  Try dancing, colouring, or taking fun photos.

Take Steps

What steps do you need to  take to process your moods?

Here are a few prompting questions:

  1. Do you have a journal to write your thoughts in?
  2. Does exercise as simple as going for a brisk walk help relieve them?
  3. Do you mind your nutrition to ensure you're eating brain-healthy food?
  4. Do you get regular physical checkups?
  5. Do you take brain and body-healthy supplements?
  6. Do you have someone to share your feelings with?
  7. Do you pray?
  8. Do you use positive self-talk.
  9. Do you take confidence in God's guidance?
  10. Do you go easy on yourself?


Saturday, March 14, 2015