Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Stuck in a Midlife Crisis?

The cover was taken from my painting "Beth's Seaside Cottage."


Our Need to Dream Again 
I recall a time years ago when I had no new dreams. That scared me.  I think I was about 48.  I was leading a group of women, encouraging them to capture their dreams, but I had none aside from developing my new life coaching practice.  But with only a handful of clients at the time, I'd become discouraged.  


A few years later, I found myself battling moods in my flip-flopping role of part-time empty nest mom. I'd gotten nowhere with jobs I'd applied to.  I had a couple of small work-from-home businesses, but I wanted something grander.  I was caught in a flurry of discontentment. 

I'd sought direction for years and couldn't seem to find what God wanted me to spend my time on next in midlife that would be as meaningful as my role of raising my children. The lack of a new dream or answers about my next life phase calling had me caught in a midlife crisis that dragged on for years.  

Finally, I was given an epiphany [from God]. It is this epiphany that forms the basis of my new eBook.


New eBook to Help You Through Your Midlife Crisis


My new eBook is especially helpful for women in a midlife crisis or those that just want another perspective.  

This book will take a woman through a number of exercises that will help her narrow down her top five essential passions and help her find life direction. I know there are lots of passion books out there.  This is different.  This isn't about finding that passion that will turn into a paid career.  It may, but that's not the goal.  

The book is about looking at your innate makeup--the way God designed you--and taking seriously your top five areas of interests, developing them, and trusting God to use them as he sees fit.

I suggest once you identify your top five passions in midlife that you look at them as "your job."  This is especially helpful for the woman who has left her paid job or never re-entered the workforce after raising children.  This is helpful for the woman who has applied for new jobs and faced age discrimination and gotten nowhere. 

This is for the woman who has faith in God and believes the results she arrives at are from him.  

I'm not you, you're not me, so I have no idea if you'll connect with what I've written.  But I offer it humbly to you.  Check it out for yourself. 

Only currently available in Kindle format on Amazon, but can be read on any electronic device such as your computer, laptop, iPad, phone, etc. 

     

Monday, June 29, 2015

Children Headed of to College?



For many women this time of year can be frightening.  Many will be sending a child or more off to college/university.  Some will commute from home, others will move out and into residence.

This transition is a marker not only for the child, but for the parents.  If you fit into this category and you feel uneasy, you probably aren't alone. A little uneasiness is normal.

There are always strategies to put in place to walk through this phase joyfully. As I've navigated this journey with putting two of my own children into university residence, I now pass on these tips to you:
  • Trust God, once more.  Release them into his care. Trust that he will unfold your next steps too.
  • God will give you supernatural grace to see it through.
  • Don't project your thoughts into the far future and get hung up on being "without" them. Let things unfold a day and step at a time.
  • This will be the beginning of a new phase for you too.  You will be introduced to new adventures through them.  
  • The school year is short.  They will probably be back Thanksgiving, Christmas, reading week and possibly weekends along the way.  
  • You'll have benefits of them being gone. You'll be freer to do more since you won't have to drive them around, share a car, make meals, buy a constant supply of groceries, etc.  
  • Keep in touch by email, phone, texting or Facebook messages (you don't have to friend them).  
  • Visit their campus and take them out for a meal.  Don't over-do it though.
  • Let them know they are always welcome to come home.  If they shy away from returning home, specifically invite them.  Tell them to bring along new friends if they'd like.

Remember you raised them for this moment.  Be proud of the steps they will take.  

Monday, June 15, 2015

Separate the Voices and Find Greater Peace


At one time or another, I think we all look introspectively at our lives to consider if there is something more, better, or worthwhile we should be doing with our life.

There are many theories out there.  Some seem so very motivating.  Take these well-used statements for instance:

"You can do anything if you try"
"If you dream it, you can do it"  

Marathon of Hope creator, Terry Fox, suffered cancer and with an amputated leg set out to run across Canada to raise awareness and funds for cancer cures.  He is quoted:  

“I just wish people would realise that anything is possible if you try. Dreams are made if people try.”

These are all fine-sounding statements.  But, I believe they need qualifiers.  They just aren't completely true.

If I have a dream to be a star on a soap opera, I can pursue acting, move to LA, etc., but just because I've dreamt it, does not mean it will transpire.  There are many variables involved, including needing a producer or director's offer to include me.

If I am paralyzed from the waist down, I can dream about walking again, I can participate in trials, but I can't necessarily make it happen.

If I'm a lousy singer, I won't win American Idol just because I've dreamt about it and tried out.    

Get the picture?



THINK OF OUR ANCESTOR EVE

I'm reminded of Eve in the Garden when Satan tempted her.  Her giving in was both a result of falling for her own ideas combined with believing the ideas of Satan--that she could be God-like and knowledgeable.

The cost?  To go against God.  In essence, to follow her own dreams and Satan's false promises.

Did it work out?  Did she become God-like?  No.  She sinned and the entire world was condemned as a result of her choice.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR US?

We are bombarded with ideas that appeal to our  intellect or emotions.  Some ideas are from other humans, some are driven by Satan.

Then there are dreams and ideas driven by God's Holy Spirit at work in us.  Dreaming is not wrong.

When we find ourselves feeling like there is something better, it's important to consider if the voice we're hearing is God's or not.    

Competing Voices 

The world is so competitive.  We see others succeeding and we want what they have so badly we're tempted to not only listen to them, but to follow them. But is this wise?

I believe comparing ourselves to others is a recipe for depression.  We will sometimes fight against who we are and God's best in an effort to become something not intended.

Dangerous Advice 

It's always great to have mentors, motivators and accountability partners.  When we are challenged, even by a life coach for instance, we should always measure what's suggested against who we are inside, our values, God's ideals, our life path, etc. In other words, just because someone suggests you become braver by quitting your job to reach for a better one, doesn't mean you go ahead and do it. Be careful of sudden changes not well thought out.

Just because someone says, "live a little," doesn't mean you should take leaps not true to yourself.  

WHAT THEN IS THE ANSWER?

The answer is:

  1. Recognize the potential of being deceived.
  2. Check for what comparisons you may be making.
  3. Check which of the world's voices you're listening to (TV, magazines, teachers, professors, friends?)
  4. Dismiss wrong guidance or desires.
  5. Seek perfecting offered by God.
  6. Ask him to align your life to the best path.
  7. Make the changes he requires with confidence.
  8. Listen for his voice.
  9. Trust the path he puts you on.
  10. Learn to be content and accept where he puts you.
  11. Bloom where you're planted.
  12. Warn others.
 

Friday, June 12, 2015

Free Self-Coaching Tool

New Freebie 

Module 1 for Midlife Christian Women with Crisis-Like Feelings


This SHORT eBook is now available for $0 at my Weebly site.  Just Click on the photo to get to the self-coaching tools page.  

Part of a Series of Self-Coaching Modules, Module 1 is your first stop on the road to designing your MTR. It includes an 11 page PDF. This module reassures you that you're not alone in your midlife journey. It discusses the value of including others in your journey and especially the importance of trusting God at this stage of life.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Design Your Midlife Transition Roadmap

Introducing a New Concept - Design Your MTR

I have begun a new concept which has its home at 

ww.rosegarde.weebly.com.

Here's a snip of the front page: 


This is a platform where midlife women can take themselves on a self-coaching journey.  Here's a bit more about it:

Design Your MTR asks, how would your life feel if you had support, direction, and sense of community in midlife?

As a Christian midlife woman, you have your own set of special needs.  What's standing in the way of you gaining peace and moving forward may not be anything you're doing wrong, but your need to make sense of your life and to create a plan that works for you.

At  Design Your MTR, the goal is to help you learn about midlife issues and recognize yourself in examples.  The modules are designed to help you answer important questions that will help serve you better.  My goal is that you will develop greater confidence and trust in God as you develop a plan for moving forward in this life phase. 

Who can benefit from this process?

The tools are geared for:

Midlife women who have chosen to include Jesus, God, and the Holy Bible in their lives.

Midlife women who are in a midlife crisis.  

Midlife women who aren't in a crisis but who want to hone their life direction.  

Midlife mothers, empty nesters, wives, homemakers, and career women.  

Single midlifers are welcome to participate, but material won't be specifically geared to them. There are references to spouses and parenting included in the material.

I've just added a new Module in the tool section, which can also be access here 

https://gumroad.com/rumroad

Hope you'll drop by.