Wednesday, September 20, 2017

My Life Coaching Process


I've just started back offering in-person or telephone life coaching sessions at reduced rates. 

I know there are many women in crisis, transition, and so on who just can't justify paying $75 or more. I want to use my skills to help those women, but I can't help everyone. So a select few who sign up at $37.50 a session will get a spot. This will be a 50% fee reduction and the other 50% will be my ministry to you. 

MY FOCAL POINT 

It can be hard to work with women who have multiple issues. I remind myself it's not up to me to solve their problems. The client has to do the work herself!

I like to help women see there are often layers to work through. I like to help her separate them. One woman may benefit from talking them over. In doing so, her mind sifts and prioritizes them without her even realizing it. 

Another woman may benefit from listing troublesome issues on paper so she has a visual to refer to. Post-it notes can be helpful as they can be moved around. 




Sometimes just sorting the issues gives a woman the feeling she can handle whatever she's dealing with because she sees it is multi-faceted. In life she's already had to prioritize, so her natural instincts will kick in to tackle today's issues that are standing in her way of being all God has created her to be.  

WHERE TO START

Some women know what they want a coach for. I once used a life coaching service to deal with emotions over a shift in my husband's work that required we move across the country. The purpose for the session was firm in my mind. I needed someone safe and confidential to vent to. 

This is different from venting to a friend. With a signed contract by a life coach, your coach HAS to keep what you share confidentially. 

Other women may have so many things they're dealing will it might like a mess of cobwebs or a forest thicket. This woman needs an expert life coach to guide her through the maze and out to safety. 




INCLUDE SELF-CARE 

I'm always interested in pointing a woman to help herself first. Once she identifies the issues she wants to work on, rather than wishfully thinking them away, she can work through them methodically. 

I want my client to work through her issues with self-protection. For instance, when you join a fitness program, at first if you go too hard, you may injure yourself. You may get discouraged and fall back. Muscles take time to strengthen. It will take time to burn fat. Cardio will get easier in time. Methodical steps surrounded by self-care is important in any endeavour.

Some women worry about family members, a spouse who's left them, an ailing parent, etc. They need money, a job, health, and so on. But how can she work on her issues or give her best to anyone else if she is out of balance? She owes it to herself to look after herself and to get into alignment. 

Most women need to set boundaries. They may need to delaying some activities (like me and sprinting) in favor of taking slower steps. They may need to get rid of garbage like guilt, shame, pride, negativity, a desire for revenge, or fear before she can start to feel normal and move forward. 

Depending on your need, a life coach can help direct you. If you'd like to look into affordable life coaching through Facebook Voice, through email, through telephone or in person in the KW area, let me know

Saturday, September 09, 2017

What is it Time to Shed?

A theme on my mind and heart for the last few months has been "Lord, give me something new." 

I was reminded the Bible says not to put new wine into old wineskins. I was intrigued with the idea that it was time to shed something old. Could it be the "work" I'd been doing for pay? Could it be junk that had collected in my house? Could it be an attitude, a habit, extra weight or sin? Maybe all of the above.

Is it Time to Shed?

When you sense it's time to shed something and you don't know what to shed, say a simple prayer asking God to reveal to you what He wants shed. 

Many of us walk around with baggage. We may feel we've surrendered a lot but, still, invisible baggage weighs us down without us realizing. 

Is Old Baggage Weighing You Down?

The truth is, every day is a new day to start over. Every day we have access to God's grace and forgiveness. He tells us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. But many times, we hold onto bad experiences and at the right time, we rehash them. We relive past horrors. We get angry all over again. We self-sabotage. 

Usually, rehashing negative experiences helps little. The best advice is to rehash the story once with a therapist, and then to forget it. 

BIBLE STUDY

I'd sat down to meditate.  I began by writing questions to God in my journal. Doing so is a powerful exercise. Many of the questions I asked recently referred to difficult times in my past.

I opened the Message version of the Bible and read "to be human is to struggle." I was reminded struggle is part of life. No one is immune. 

I flipped over to Exodus--an account of a people group being freed from bondage and I envisioned the concept of God wanting to free me too. I asked him to reveal what I was to shed. 

You can do this too. Listen over the next few days about things you are tempted to rehash, old wounds that resurface, memories you'd long forgotten. Nitpicking you might do. Jot those things down as thoughts and complaints to shed. It's over with. 

Trust in God's healing and justice. 

Ask God how to best give Him the memory or situation. Ask Him to take it from you. Perhaps do an exercise that helps you envision him taking the baggage off your shoulders. 

Get rid of it. And if a friend or relative brings up an old situation, change the topic. Dwelling on old pain will only leave you feeling miserable. It will keep you stuck in an old wineskin. Are you ready to give it all up?

POOL RESCUE

I can't stand to see an animal or even insect suffer. When I check my pool, if I see a beetle struggling to avoid drowning, I will get the net to save it. 

Sometimes bugs will catch a ride on one of the floating foam flowers I have in the pool. The other day, about five beetles had taken up lodging aboard a small pool ball. I scooped it onto the pool deck. I've noticed, at times I've taken the bugs to safety, but they have clung to the net, the flower, or the ball. Sometimes, a bug will jump off the object and jump right back into the pool it was rescued from. 

I can't help but make a connection to how many people do this in life. Jesus offers them freedom, but they choose to cling to the baggage. The Saviour rescues them, and they jump right back into the pool to face drowning all over again! 

Not everyone has the skill for moving forward. Sometimes moving forward makes a person feel vulnerable. They keep old wounds on the forefront of their thinking because they feel doing so helps shield them. But it doesn't. It only makes them crotchety old people stuck in the past. 

Seek the Lord for yourself. See if this concept lines up for you. Ask the Lord to help you shed what doesn't work any longer so you can become all He desires. 




Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Enlarge your Life

I will always remember instructor Katie Brazelton teaching women this concept. I don't recall if it was through coach training or in her Pathway to Purpose book and life coach training material, but nevertheless, this concept stuck:

Take a step, make a low-cost probe. 

Here is a little meme I just created on this theme:


I've decided, for the most part, to not to chase down opportunities, but to let God bring them to me. How he has done this in many cases is to give me an idea.  When the idea sits right, my low-cost probe is to investigate it further. 

One such idea was to make my mother-in-law an encouragement book. With that decision, I was led to a resource called canva.com where I've enjoyed making photographic memes like the one you see above. I hope my mother-in-law has found the book I made her helpful. Taking that one step has broadened my world so much!

Another idea I had was prompted by a friend. I was challenged to hold a local women's group with complete strangers. I did it! I learned from it. And from that experience came an opportunity to show my art on the walls of the bakery we'd held our group at. That's still to happen. 

This is how one step leads to another. 

I could go on about how opportunities open up, but I won't take up more space. I want to encourage you to take your silly, boring, grand, pretty, masterful ideas and develop them. Make investigations. Take steps. 

Doing so will enlarge your life. 


Tuesday, August 08, 2017

What to do When You Don't Know What to Do Next


Do you ever reach a point where you have so many options you don't know which to choose to work toward or where you feel paralyzed having nothing new to work on?

I have felt this way many times. A few years ago, I had an "aha moment" where I decided I "wondered" too much. I looked up all types of things on the internet wondering if I should head in a this direction or that. There were many things I could do. I could take a course at community college. I could apply for a new job. I could sign up to volunteer.  Get it?

What held me back was a feeling in my gut that told me I'd grow weary of my new thing quickly. So I decided to catch myself when wondering, searching, striving, or digging and only take steps when they were obviously set out and confirmed by God or when they were "low cost."

IDENTIFY YOUR PASSIONS 

I had another "aha moment" while watching a free webinar with Creative Live. The theme was organizing your creative business, but I took the challenges and applied them to life. Ultimately, I used the tools I learned to narrow down my top five passions. I explain the tools in my Kindle book What's Next in Midlife.

When we indulge in too many passions, we can lose focus and become lost. Do you know what your five top passions are? What are the things you know you MUST include in your life to feel balanced and happy? (Clue: I must have outdoor time, I must write.)

IDENTIFY YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES

Also important is to narrow down your top responsibilities. 

Who are you called by God to serve? Who do you need to be there for? Your spouse, children, inlaw, close friend? 

You are called by God to steward all he has given you. That means you are to tend your home, your car, your wardrobe, your garden, and so on. Tending these are assignments from God just a much as paid work is. 

It is key, if you're to have a sense of fulfillment, that you look at your responsibilities as your job not just something you do on the side grudgingly.  No, you won't get a financial reward for cooking or cleaning, but you will get an eternal reward when you tend to your responsibilities to the best of your ability.  

SERVE GOD

Always include God in your day. He expects you to learn his ways, to spend time in relationship with him, to consult him, to pray, to serve others and to shine your light in a way that brings him glory. That's a given. Still, many women need to book in time to do cultivate their spiritual life. 


WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME

So what's all of this got to do with knowing what to do when you don't know what to do? Let me explain:

Once you know your top passions and responsibilities, you will have a short list of what to do with your time and energy.

Example: My passions are gardening and enjoying the outdoors, creating art, exercising, caring for my home and family, and writing and coaching through my writing. With each passion are umpteen mini-goals. I simply shuffle my time to work on each. Often, I'll post my mini-goals on Post-it notes and hang them on a wall where I can see them and shuffle them around. This helps me choose a day's priority. 


My Post-it Note wall of passions and responsibilities. Easy way to set goals.




I glued my Canva pieces into this book for
my Mother-in-law who is in the hospital.
I always leave room for God to expand my territory. Just recently, I was invited to show my art publicly. I also just finished leading a local group of women on goal setting. God has called me to do good deeds for extended family members. I recently wanted to create a motivational quote book that included quotes and Bible verses atop my digitized artwork. As a result, I began learning how to use Canva


A piece I did with Canva using my own digitized artwork.


I'm at my best when God reveals my next new thing gradually and naturally.

CRAVING NEW 

We tire of the same old thing. That's why I suggest you continue to learn and grow in the areas you've already identified. Try a new form of exercise if exercise is important to you. Start a new art blog if art is important to you. Look at Pinterest for new ideas for your home, lawn, and garden. Simply learn, grow, and expand your territory. Experiment. 

Don't grow weary in well-doing, for eventually you shall reap what you sow. 


Thursday, July 27, 2017

Thank You for My Book Sales

Design Your: Midlife Transition Roadmap (Module 1) (Design Your Midlife Transition Roadmap) by [Life Coach, Rose Garde]

I just want to thank all the anonymous people who have purchased one of my Amazon Kindle eBooks. Lately, there has been a flurry of sales and I'm humbled. I don't make much on from them, but seeing them being purchased enriches my soul, confirms my path and gives me hope that maybe someone out there will be helped by even one thing I've written. 

So, if you have purchased one of my books (featured on the sidebar), I am truly grateful.