Are there Simply Too Many Church Options?

A Mennonite Church

Are there Simply Too Many Options?

Much like the overwhelming selection of 100 to 200 cereal options in a grocery store, the variety of church styles today is vast. When there was just one community church, it served as a central hub for worship, social life, and support, fostering a sense of unity and shared purpose. Now, with so many churches offering different styles of worship, doctrines, and approaches to community life, it can lead to fragmentation.

This diversity likely stems from the desire to cater to different preferences and spiritual needs. While I won’t delve into the history of how each denomination or individual church formed its unique format, I will say that my husband and I have visited many different types of churches over the years and now have a few thoughts and opinions about them.

(We job transferred three times and in each new location, we visited a number of churches before choosing one.)

We all worship the same God, but do it differently.  Of course, what matters are the basics. But atmosphere matters too.

As I lay in bed last night mulling over this topic, I reflected on a number of church settings I've visited:

1. Church plant using a school auditorium: (We visited more than one of these). 

This type of location may be hot without air conditioning. The chairs may be uncomfortable chairs, the acoustics strange. Reliance on parishioners is steep for set up, tear down, and help with childcare or teaching. 

For us, there was pastoral pressure for more involvement and outreach, but being part of this church we were part of was not our paid work. My husband had a fulltime job. I had young children to care for. 

Church at this type of facility, while exciting in some ways, felt temporary.

2. Church in large facility: 

Generally, this church is in a very nice space with rooms for every activity. There may still be some pressure to volunteer. Cliques may exist between long-time members and newcomers, making connection difficult. While this setting feels like a proper church, the larger crowd can leave you feeling like a spectator, unsure how to meet people or fit in.

3. Church in a movie theatre (with or without popcorn): Yes, we experienced this too. For us it was unique, comfortable seating, but it did not give us a feeling of a full church experience. We knew it was temporary. Logicstics are difficult in this type of setting. 

4. Church startup in shared facility: This one we attended felt copycat. This group of believers tried to use the formats as larger churches do. They formed a standard worship team and projected the same popular worship songs on a screen. 

Because it was in a rented building, the full church feeling was not possible. This church failed to takeoff. 

5. Church in a commercial building with satellite feed but on-campus worship team: This one also felt like something was missing in the full church experience. People didn't seem to inteact which is okay for introverts who just want to sit in church. But for others who want connections, it was heartbreaking. 

This type of church gave us a spectator feeling. 

6. Church in large renovated facility from the same denomination you were brought up in and found to be legalistic: 

We visited churches that were of the same denomination I grew up in. But in younger years, once leaving my hometown, I learned what legalism is and saw how much I'd been indoctrinated into such. I feared getting to know people in that denomination again. 

7. Old church building:  These churches still exist though they aren't well attended these days. I couldn't help but smell old person on the cushioned seats and I wondered how often they were cleaned. I heard creaky floors. Most in the pews had silver hair. The music from hymnals drags and is a little off key.

8. Small church meeting in rented facility: This church had moved around a bit trying to find home while still being able to pay the rent. The interaction was good as prayer requests were taken from those seated. It was intimate, but too intimate for some. It is difficult to keep going to a small church like this where you can't help but be noticed. And with being noticed, it's hard not to wonder what commitment others might expect of you.

 

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Valid considerations:

I’ve experienced every type of church described above. Choosing a church to become part of is complicated. 

Stepping into 2025

 

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

As we step into the new year of 2025, it’s a great time to pause and reflect on the lessons and growth from the past twelve months. Have you taken time yet to reflect on what lessons you learnd in 2024? 

Here are a few prompts I jotted down in my journal: 

• Applaud yourself, and focus on what is going well
• Ask for or hire help as needed
• Be generous, give when you can
• Be yourself, not what someone wants you to be
• Celebrate that you are healthy!
• Don't catastrophize about what might happen, live in the present
• Give your problems to God, let go
• Let go of trying to control everything
• Nurture your faith, and tend your soul
• Pray for others and your own situations
• Set your boundaries and stick to them realizing they are for your own good
• Speak less, listen more
• Stop being a perfectionist
• Trust God, don't worry so much
• Watch less TV news, there's a lot of fear-mongering going on

One of my huge personal realizations this year has been understanding the root of my ongoing fatigue and its connection to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and associated waves of myalgic pain. Gaining clarity and names for these challenges has been transformative—it’s given me a direction for managing them better so that I have the best quality of life I can have. And ruling out other possible issues has been liberating. All other tests were negative. I'm healthy!

Through research, medical advice, and trial and error, a key word emerged that shaped my year. It is what professionals recommend for those with. That word is pacing. 

Learning to pace myself intentionally has been a game changer, and it’s something I encourage everyone to consider for themselves. Whether you choose to pace yourself for your health, your goals, or simply balancing life’s demands, pacing can make a difference. 

What word or concept shaped your 2024? How might it guide you in 2025?

A New Season, A New Blog

I'm excited to announce the launch of yet another blog! 

I considered adding the new posts here to save time, but after some prayer and a timely email I received, I felt led to create a dedicated space on a new Blogger platform. This new blog dives into the growing conversation around the deconstruction of Christian faith. If you're curious about why church pews are becoming emptier, why your own desire to attend church in person might be fading, or what others are doing in response, I invite you to tune in and explore these topics with me.

The new blog is here

Reporting on Visitor's Stats and Thank You to Readers

Ruthven

Before I write a new post on a new theme, I thought I'd pause to say thank you to all who have visited this blog. I've kept it up because it still gets 'views'. And, it's a great place for me to express myself. 

Here are the latests stats. And this is only from 2011. (I started this blog around 2008 and rebooted it in 2011.)

Back in the early days, I had access to more analytics Blogger offered with the simple click of a link. I was able to see what visitors had typed into the search bar to arrive here. I was able to see what part of the world visitors were from. That gave me insight into what topics to study and write on. But as blogger evolved, the tool was changed and tracking analytics became complicated. So now, I can only guess how visitors arrived here and from where. 

The world has become self-serve. The makers of these apps seem to assume everyone is a tech guru. I'm just not that interested in learning more technical stuff these days! So I will enjoy what I do have access to and understand and pray no more big changes are made to Blogger. 

I've seen this blog grow and evolve since 2008 as I've ploded along on my own evolving faith journey. The journey of writing posts has been a rewarding one--my own little place on the Internet where I can attempt to encourage women. My hidde ministry.

I've had seasons of not adding to the blog. The pandemic was part of that. The special project I got involved with in 2021 was part of that. The brain fog from #CFS has added to it. I've contemplated packing it up. I've asked God for insight. The fact that the blog still gets views after all this time is a reminder of why I continue. 

It’s not just the numbers I'm grateful for, I'm grateful for the personal space it offers me to reflect and express myself and to share about the new things I've learned.

Your support means a lot and has kept me going! 

Navigating Faith and Fatigue: Trusting God Through Tests

This is a followup to my last post on Invisible Illness and God's goodness. 

Based on tracking my symptoms over time—and comparing my experience with established guidelines—I fall into the mild category of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS). I have many good days. But when I overextend myself, physically or mentally, I can trigger Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM). If PEM becomes ongoing, my functioning can temporarily shift into what would be considered a moderate level.

For me, PEM often appears 12 to 24 hours after I’ve pushed beyond my limits and may last a day or two. The trigger isn’t always dramatic. It can be yardwork, housework, an intense social interaction, pushing too hard in an exercise class, or simply a combination of smaller efforts that add up.

During a significant bout of PEM, even ordinary tasks—making dinner, changing the bed, folding laundry, sitting down to write—can feel disproportionately difficult. The way forward is not to push through, but to pace myself: to plan margins, build in rest, and allow space for recovery before a crash comes. 

I've been noticing lately, though, there isn't one standard rule. I might have overdone something 12 hours in the past triggering my fatigue, but that might be added on to several new things that add to my konking out. Scrolling the Internet, for instance, can be very fatiguing. Recovering from an injury is a hidden activity that causes physical stress. 

Mind Management 

When I found myself missing church due to PEM I felt some guilt. I wondered if i was making excuses for not going to church. Then a gentleman on a CFS forum said, perhaps God says resting in bed, for you, is a form of worship. Imagine that! 

Once he said that, I enjoyed curling up in bed with my mind focused on God's peace instead of guilt. 

I do want to go on enjoying life as all women do with invisible illness. On good days, I sometimes tell myself I made it all up. I don't have CFS. 

But then I have a funk again. I MUST count on the Lord to guide me. And, my part, is to dedicate myself to trusting God enough that I choose to listen for his nudges instead of quickly making decisions on my own.

MY TESTS

We are hosting a backyard party this weekend. I know the important thing is to have energy to greet guests and allow them a good time, but I have a tendancy to over-clean both the outdoor gardens and the indoors and fancy things up. And now, that kind of work is exhausting.

Planning this gathering seems to be a test. I sense God is suggesting these areas of testing:

• Managing stress. Will I resist overdoing everything? 
• Pacing. Will I sit down and rest when He tells me to, or will I keep moving and use up my energy?
• Asking Him for help. Will I say even quick prayers to ask him for help with areas I am tempted to worry about?
• Staying Creative. I'm keenly aware of how creative God is. Instead of moving ahead with my crazy ideas, will I pause and ask if the crazy idea is from him or simply one more thing that uses up my energy. (Think of adding golf cups to some artificial turf we have to make a putting green.)

Proverbs 17 says, “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart.”

Why would he test me? What about my heart is being tested in this health challenge? What about hosting a party am I being tested with?

I believe He wants me to learn a new way of living that causes me to rely more on him for every little detail. He wants it to work out. He doesn't plan for my disaster. He wants me to practice pacing myself. And if I do it right this time, I will have proven I can do it again.

Don't we all want God to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant?" As a response to listening for his nudges and following through with them?

“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” Matthew 25:23

Benefits of Tests

God’s testing with invisible illness is an invitation to do life with more ease as I choose to slow down. Tests are opportunities for growth and a more intimate relationship with God, and ultimately character development.

With any test or health situation you're facing, remember: God understands your limitations and loves you regardless of how much you do, how often you pitch in to help others, how clean your home is, and how often you physically attend church.

Maintaining your faith walk can look different at different stages of life, and that's okay. What matters is your heart and your intention. So be kind to yourself and rely on the Lord for strength. Jesus invites us to bring our burdens to Him and find rest in Him. I love that. 

Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”