Life is Not Easy, Finding Life Purpose and Balance is Just as Complex in These Times

The pandemic taught us many things. A few things I've learned include:

• The pandemic was/is not easily solvable.
  
  
• People are divided and sometimes nasty.
  
  
• The pandemic was/is bigger than us which proved, yet again, why we need to rely on God who is also bigger than us. 

We are in a post-pandemic era now in 2024, and many of us are having to rebuild our relationships and some, our careers. The world changed and is not finished shifting. Just today I heard of another shop closing due to low in-person customer traffic. 

Many of us are ordering online and thus in-person shopping has taken a hit.  That affects minimum wage part-time jobs for young people and business owners are struggling.

My Semi-Retirement

I decided to call myself semi-retired when I lost writing motivation during the pandemic. A paid writing job I had fizzled out and writers on the team were told the project had been stopped. I'd been writing furniture descriptions for a store, and I suspect they were finding sales a challenge. Other small businesses that used to buy my articles through content supplier Constant-Content faced challenges too resulting in fewer article sales (at least from my inventory). 

Churches in my city and elsewhere have amalgamated since church attendance and financial giving has dropped. Many individuals have reexamined their faith and are moving away from organized religious practices. 

My Social Network

As I've sought to restart my social network, I've hit a lot of brick walls. Covid is still an issue in various parts of the world and I'm now in the higher risk age and health range so I'm careful even now but am getting out more.

My husband has been working from home since 2020. It's been challenging to be around each other so much, but in other ways, it's been helpful to have him home. 

My craving to be part of in-person events, even if I wore a mask, came to a head in April 2022. My husband and I joined a twelve-week in-person diabetes workshop with real live people! It was perfect timing for us before we went completely mad. But I didn't make any new long-term connections there. I still need to build a social life. 

I've recently looked for other in-person events to attend locally and found many organizations are still doing their events online. 

PEOPLE ARE ISOLATED AND LONELY. 

(Do I speak for myself?)

Does any of the above describe where you're at? 

I embraced the semi-retired label to alleviate the disappointment and guilt associated with the absence of article sales or daily work commitments. It allowed me to grant myself permission to ease off the constant pursuit of goals.

But, while I find myself at the age when many people retire, the void has become noticeable, particularly with the onset of winter. Now, my focus is not just on rediscovering life purpose but, more importantly, on achieving a harmonious life balance.

Life Balance and Life Purpose

At times, it is difficult to find life balance. Are you in that spot?

Life purpose and life balance are interconnected aspects of overall well-being, and finding harmony between the two can lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable life (or so the experts say). And that's important because Jesus came to give us life more abundant. We are his hands and feet, so it makes sense we find the right balance so we can live out our purpose with sustained dedication.

Life purpose often extends beyond career or personal achievements. It encompasses our relationships, health, personal growth, spiritual growth, and contributions to the community.

I can tell you from experience you will never find one big purpose in life that never changes. And, your social groups will change. Life is full of starts, excitement, pauses, lulls, seasons, joy, grief, and transitions.

Ultimately, leading a purposeful life revolves around maintaining a sense of hope. Hope that God will lead you where he wants you in ways that fill the voids in your life in due time.

So instead of looking for a role or title, look for the hand of God and renew your hope in the everyday events of life.

Clinging to the belief that God has a specific plan for your life, as assured by Jeremiah 29:11 in the Bible, will help you navigate both the challenging days of uncertainty and, subsequently, the demanding days when a specific task, challenge, or opportunity is set before you. Stay addicted to hope in God! Be patient in the waiting room.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jer 29:00 (NIV).

A Self-Coaching Exercise to Help Your Life

 (A partial repost from 2020) 

I just booked an appointment with my therapist. My psychotherapist that is. I'm not afraid to admit I sometimes use one because the process is helpful. (And my medical coverage pays for most of it.)

I believe it's important to take care of our mind, body, and soul. My counselor will be my safe person to confide in.

Galatians 6:2 ESV  

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

I'm doing well, but have realized just how many stressors I'm still processing (2020). Stress and change are part of life but sometimes it mounts inside our body. I carry mine in my shoulders. Especially in the doldrums of winter I'd rather have the sweetness talked about here for myself:

Proverbs 27:9 ESV 
"...and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel."  

What I hope to Achieve

I don't know what I'll talk about with my therapist yet but I want her take on things. 

Proverbs 20:5 says, "The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of 

understanding will draw it out." 

She will draw out some of the deep water in my heart and analyze it. 

I want to neatly package my woes and register them with her. I want her input and suggestions, and to know if I'm processing all well or burying it. I want to leave her office better than when I arrived. 

There is a Bible verse that talks about being caught in the transgression of sin and that those who are spiritual should restore such. It's not so much sin I might be embracing, but a lesser way of living. (Although I was in a Bible study once where the book title was Worry is a Sin. Do you agree that worry is a sin?) 

I'm not suggesting my therapist will point out where I'm sinning, but I know from working with her, that she will help me see where I might be catastrophizing, holding onto a grudge or where I might be embracing wrong thinking instead of focusing on the good. And we need to focus on the good if we're to thrive.

A Therapeutic Exercise

An online friend who is a counselor gave me advice for  deciding how to spend my valuable one-hour session:

1. Draw a line across a page.
2. Above the line write what is going well.
3. Below the line, write what isn't going well, negative events, or stressors.
4. As you do this, pay attention to where pain comes up that could be addressed with your therapist.
   
   

What A Life Coach Might Do 

For an alternative from a life coaching perspective, we wouldn't look at the past so much (that's the role of therapy). A life coach would applaud what is going well and ask probing questions to help me see where I might want to take the what's working list next and what boundaries I might want to set. 

The above exercise can be done on your own. You can look at the list of what is going well and be grateful. You can ask yourself probing questions such as: Why am I worrying about this and not just giving it to God?  You can ask yourself what you might want to change, decrease, or ramp up.

If you do such an exercise, please share in the comments. 

 

Dealing with the Winter Blues?

The winter blues touch the lives of many, and the long anticipation of spring's arrival seems to prolong those feelings. I only go on Reddit.com occasionally, but I have seen others share how the dark skies this month have them emotionally struggling. Where I live, we haven't seen the sun in 30 days.

If this resonates with you, know you aren't alone.

If you find yourself feeling down more than up these days, here are some tips you can try to shift your mood.

Firstly, try increasing your dose of Vitamin D and take walks outside, even if it's raining. Fresh air, nature, and body movement are great ways to improve your mood. Secondly, turn on a high-intensity light in the room where you spend most of your time. I turn on every light I have in my office during daylight hours.

It's important to control your thoughts because they may generate temporary feelings of sadness. Instead of evaluating or fixating on negative thoughts, accept them and move on.

JUST STOP IT! 

It's easy to overthink and analyze late-night feelings, but they can be misleading. Stop yourself. Don't let Satan take control of your thoughts.

Look for events to get yourself out of the house. Last night I went to a new group for ladies - gentle yoga called phoga. I focused on stretching and breathing along with 20 or so other ladies I'd never met before. I felt so good after, I went on Facebook to search for other events in my area over the next two months.

RECOGNIZING NEEDS

Feelings can be difficult to handle, especially during the winter months when our mood tends to be low. However, they can also serve as indicators of our needs. Our emotions can help us identify something that is missing in our lives and guide us toward taking new steps to fill the gaps. 

It's a good idea to ask God for his opinion on what might be missing and for suggestions on how to fill the gaps. (While it's important to wait on God, it's equally important to take new small steps.) 

WRITE OUT YOUR THOUGHTS

It can be beneficial for some people to write down their emotions or make a vision board that reflects their feelings. However, it's important not to dwell on negative emotions. 

It's important to note that what we concentrate on tends to grow, hence, it's better to acknowledge our emotions and shift our focus towards more positive thoughts. If you create a vision board or art piece that represents negative emotions, it's recommended to follow it up with a positive one that represents the opposite. 

Choose words and photos that bring a spark of joy. I have created this with a word cloud generator. Try it for yourself here: 

Get to Know Yourself

I'm reading Dr. Caroline Leaf's book The Perfect You. I'm not quite ready to recommend it because it is a rather difficult book to digest. My goal with it is to identify my personality better and embrace the good parts of it. 

I know I am a melancholic who feels deeply. I overthink. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I've been told I'm hard on myself. It doesn't matter the root causes, especially, what matters to me is coming to terms with the idea that it is how God created me and being aware how these traits affect my feelings and choices. They'll help me be on my guard. They'll help me make better choices. 

Beyond these ideas are many more. Let me know the tips and tricks you use to get through the dark-sky days of winter.  And until winter passes, trust the Lord, do your best, and go easy on yourself.