A Unique Spiritual Practice

 Taking Steps out of Hibernation

For much of the fall and winter, I'd been in a season of rest. Have you too? 

Last September, I heard God nudge me to embrace this concept of rest and I came up with the acronym 'Rebel' as noted in the photo. 

Be a REBEL - to rest, recover, restore, and just be (for a season).

Breakdown of what 'Be a Rebel' means.

Amidst the resting (and I did a lot of that), I created more art, used my new stretching table at home for exercise, visited social media regularly, learned more about gardening and art, and decluttered various areas of my home. 

Grief and Needs

Through this time, God taught me a lot about pacing myself, being patient, and helped me identify the role grief and unmet needs were playing. See this blog post for more on that. 

As I desired to step out more with the turn of the calendar, I invested in a new self-care habit. My massage therapist installed an infrared sauna in her salon. (It was an idea I'd suggested to her.) Coinciding with my church's New Year's prayer and fasting suggestion, I decided I would use the sauna for prayer and self-care. And, I hoped it would bounce me out of some Season Affective Disorder I felt after the Christmas season. (Especially since we are no longer gathering with extended family and had been home much of the time.)

The results were immediate where my depression was concerned. And, the prayer practice was eye-opening. I learned how easily distracted I get. I saw I might have ADHD even. And so, I disciplined myself to have a silent sit with God for the full sauna time. It was great. And I felt spiritually renewed after too. 

No, we don't have to go into a sauna to pray. Prayer and meditation can be done in many places. But I like the therapeutic benefits sauna gives me too. It's a time for just me to get away out of the house. 

 

Is it Grief, or is it Unmet Needs?

 

Last year's sedum and petunias 
in my garden

ON GRIEF:

Posted by "Mindful Christianity"

In one of my ebooks, I mentioned grief. I emphasized we grieve many things throughout life, events as simple as dropping a delicious sandwich on the floor by mistake. The grief, in that case, is momentary. And then there is more long-term grief due to the loss of a loved one or a beloved pet. 

Today, I'm delving into the topic of grief, drawing from my own experiences with it over the past seven years. Through introspection and writing, I find clarity and understanding amidst the tumult of emotions that come and go. My hope is that by sharing my journey, it may resonate with you as a reader, offering insights and comfort along the way

Multifaceted Grief Experiences

Grief is a multifaceted journey, weaving through the fabric of our lives in various forms. In 2018, we lost my husband's mom. It's not so much the loss that bothers me since she was in her 90s, it is remembering the difficult details we walked through with her in her last couple of years of life. Now, we grieve the loss of family gatherings as we once knew them with 'gran'.

In 2019, I lost my beloved dog of fourteen years. We walked through stress prior to her final day as well. I was the main dog walker so now I grieve the memories of our many walks together.

Then, in 2020, I lost my mom. Also, in her 90s and still living in her home of 55 years, her body finally gave out due to heart failure. She was lucid, upright, but ready to go as catching her breath was becoming more difficult. We grieve the loss of this grandma too, and now both my husband and I are orphans with no living parent.

Pandemic Grief

Another form of grief the entire world faced has to do with the changes that occurred during the Covid-19 pandemic. For some, jobs vanished, businesses shuttered, and the normalcy and relationships we clung to dissipated like smoke. I don't know about you, but I haven't fully rebounded yet.

The Grief of Transition

Then there's the grief of transition—the bittersweet farewell to a career at retirement age realizing that opportunities for new beginnings wane as the years advance and jobs are given to the younger set or ended due to technology takeovers.

Children leaving the nest heralds a different sort of loss, a nostalgia for the bustling energy of family life we once knew.

I've traversed through a myriad of these upheavals in the past seven years, each one carving its own notch in my heart. Coupled with the natural ebb of dopamine that comes with age, life can feel like a shadow of its former vibrant self. At least, it has for me. And I'm taking small steps forward to shake it.

Plodding Through

Amidst the melancholy, though, glimmers of solace emerge. For instance, I had prayed for months for guidance on finding a new fitness group to join. I spent hours searching online for a suitable program. Finally, the end of February 2024, God answered that prayer. My new exercise classes, with mostly older men and women, have been a lifeline and shining light in my journey.

Watching favourite TV shows, planting flowers seeds indoors, and indulging in art projects has provided respite over the wintertime for me. But alas, I still feel restless which led me to consider if more than grief is going on.

Restless Feelings

As I've worked on this post, I've uncovered a pretty significant reason for my restlessness. It has to do with lacking significant connection and having unmet needs.

In grief we sometimes isolate. The pandemic forced us to isolate. As a result, many of us lost contact with our people. We are having to rebuild connection. And that's nothing new because all through life we have to rebuild.

I've not only uncovered my own unmet longings for connection, but also for meaning and fulfillment. My paid writing gigs slowed during the pandemic and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) often contributed to brain fog so I decided to call myself semi-retired and step away from pursuing work.

I hoped adopting that title would take the pressure off, but adding on a significant birthday marker has done a bit of a job on me. I'm trying to enjoy myself, rest, and relax, but I still crave ways to be useful.

An Epiphany about Needs 

Working on this post has led to a great epiphany for me personally. I am aware of how essential it is I acknowledge and validate both unresolved grief and unmet longings. They are both valid and deserving of attention and support.

Google Images

In high school sociology class I learned of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (pictured above). It's not as though I've been unaware of the importance of having these needs met. But I know all too well, they often aren't met. For myself, an introvert and melancholic, meeting them is like trying to keep balloons in the air.

Having been trained as a Christian Life Purpose Coach®, I am intimately familiar with the profound yearnings women harbour for a sense of purpose and the deep desire to witness tangible outcomes from the expression of their passions. We yearn for a holistic sense of well-being encompassing our body, mind, and soul no matter our age or life stage. The needs are many.

Goals Toward Wholeness

Through my research, I was able to construct a list of needs I'd like to have addressed even as I process grief. My list includes these:

• Affirmation
• A Feeling of Community
• A Sense Connection and Belonging
• Being Noticed
• Being Understood
• Fulfillment
• Gratitude
• Joy
• Love
• Meaningful Activities
• Meaningful Conversation
• Purpose: Contributing to Something Larger than Self
• Recognition
• Significance
• Spiritual fulfillment
• Wholeness

What can I do with this list?

What can you do with this list?

The above can become a prayer list. 

The above list can become an action list.

The above list can become a values filter for making future decisions. 

Holding on to Hope and Faith

I hold onto the hope that with the thaw of winter's chill and the bloom of spring, my spirits will lift especially as I take one step at a time as God opens my path.

Longings for connection, purpose, and all those items on the above list represent fundamental human needs that make up our very SOUL. And when our SOUL is healthy, we have peace and joy.

And when our needs go unfulfilled, we can feel lonely, dissatisfied, and sad--feelings that mimic grief.

The journey toward finding solutions takes time, patience and self-compassion. First comes awareness, then comes a journey of taking steps no matter how small.

Will you go on such a journey too?

Remember to ask God to lead the way. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself during moments of difficulty or setbacks (which there are sure to be). Your well-being is worth the investment!