|Papers to be Sorted|
Today, has been a blah day. I told my husband "I feel flat." I suppose it means emotionless with the balance tipping more to the depressed side. But I'm not depressed and I know I simply have to walk through this slump
This evening, I got an update from another blogger who described her own slump. I related to what she wrote. I felt a small sense of relief. The message was it's okay to have blah days, to not be driven or productive, to feel disappointed or intruded on. It's part of life.
Bear and Share Your Truth
No matter how much positivity we want in our lives, there's a time we need to bear and share our truth too. Doing so can help others who need to hear about the imperfections we face.
Try Being Authentic
While one of my goals is to stay positive and to seek to inspire others, I know the power of authenticity too. So I hope you find this post authentic.
I experienced the power of authenticity today in the blog post I read. The writer's disappointments made me feel okay with my own.
Here is what had occurred this week: One of my five passions or goal areas is to look after my home and family. I set aside yesterday to finish sorting and purging old papers. I want to get several indoor projects done before the weather finally cooperates for yard work.
I tended to laundry and got a lot accomplished. One of my spiritual challenges is to pause, pray, and act on what I hear God say. I prayed while I worked and stayed open to his direction. I felt close to God all day. I even had no tinnitus. It had been gone for 2 days straight and I hoped I was healed at last.
I posted photos of my work on Facebook and enjoyed the responses. I made stuffed pork chops for our family dinner, and got to bed early.
|After Papers are Sorted|
I anticipated returning to the gym Friday to meet up with a wonderful group of women I've gotten to know the last 2 years. I stagger my gym days so my body can recover.
But I'd had trouble sleeping and when my alarm rang, (There was a witch and demons in my nightmare!)
I hit snooze four times. When I got up I noticed it was dark and raining. My tinnitus was back, I felt de-energized, and I didn't feel like working out at the gym. But I kept my commitment.
When I arrived I faced a shortage of parking (enough to put anyone in a bad mood). Once parked and inside, I notice the group was made up of mostly the new women. My heart sank.
You see, this gym group was an answer to a long period of prayer. It provides me with both a workout and socialization. Over time, the women and men have bonded. We know each other's names and bits about each other's families. We do coffee times together.
The group is always open to new members. We all know that. We were all new at one time. But recently, due to an advertised deal, about seven new women signed up. Seven all at once! Do the new women want socialization or to be left alone? Only time will tell.
Wednesday, I felt good about warmly chatting with a new member. I was using my spiritual gift of encouragement. I even mentioned it to a Christian friend.
But today, many of the regulars weren't there, but seven new women were. Everything felt different. Our once-intimate group had grown and changed. I felt glum.
Once home, I didn't know how to spend my time. The sun of yesterday had disappeared. My same old body aches and pains were back. The rhythm of spiritual sensitivity to God's instructions was missing. I didn't have a plan of how to spend my time in a fruit-bearing way and even if I did, the tinnitus and body aches were intruding on my focus.
Add into the equation is my 14-year-old dog who has some senility. She barks loudly at times for no reason. Sleep is her go-to but she wants to sleep near me and follow me around when I change locations. My patience is being severely tested.
I felt unproductive today and most of us don't like to feel that way.
It's after 10 pm now. My dog sleeps next to me now in the bedroom. I brought my laptop up so I could type this post and maybe do a few other things to end my day.
I know good days will be here soon enough. This long winter will eventually end. New projects will be tackled in time. God is still in control.