Friday, April 26, 2019

A Slump Was Bound to Hit

Papers to be Sorted

I feel I haven't been consistent posting on this blog. I prefer to wait for inspiration before just spewing ideas, but time and again, the inspiration hasn't come. 

Today, has been a blah day. I told my husband "I feel flat." I suppose it means emotionless with the balance tipping more to the depressed side. But I'm not depressed and I know I simply have to walk through this slump

This evening, I got an update from another blogger who described her own slump. I related to what she wrote. I felt a small sense of relief. The message was it's okay to have blah days, to not be driven or productive, to feel disappointed or intruded on. It's part of life. 

Bear and Share Your Truth 

No matter how much positivity we want in our lives, there's a time we need to bear and share our truth too. Doing so can help others who need to hear about the imperfections we face. 

Try Being Authentic

While one of my goals is to stay positive and to seek to inspire others, I know the power of authenticity too. So I hope you find this post authentic. 

I experienced the power of authenticity today in the blog post I read. The writer's disappointments made me feel okay with my own. 

My Slump

Here is what had occurred this week: One of my five passions or goal areas is to look after my home and family. I set aside yesterday to finish sorting and purging old papers. I want to get several indoor projects done before the weather finally cooperates for yard work. 

I tended to laundry and got a lot accomplished. One of my spiritual challenges is to pause, pray, and act on what I hear God say. I prayed while I worked and stayed open to his direction. I felt close to God all day. I even had no tinnitus. It had been gone for 2 days straight and I hoped I was healed at last. 

I posted photos of my work on Facebook and enjoyed the responses. I made stuffed pork chops for our family dinner, and got to bed early. 

After Papers are Sorted

I anticipated returning to the gym Friday to meet up with a wonderful group of women I've gotten to know the last 2 years. I stagger my gym days so my body can recover.

But I'd had trouble sleeping and when my alarm rang, (There was a witch and demons in my nightmare!)

I hit snooze four times. When I got up I noticed it was dark and raining. My tinnitus was back, I felt de-energized, and I didn't feel like working out at the gym. But I kept my commitment. 

When I arrived I faced a shortage of parking (enough to put anyone in a bad mood). Once parked and inside, I notice the group was made up of mostly the new women. My heart sank.

You see, this gym group was an answer to a long period of prayer. It provides me with both a workout and socialization. Over time, the women and men have bonded. We know each other's names and bits about each other's families. We do coffee times together. 

The group is always open to new members. We all know that. We were all new at one time. But recently, due to an advertised deal, about seven new women signed up. Seven all at once! Do the new women want socialization or to be left alone? Only time will tell. 

Wednesday, I felt good about warmly chatting with a new member. I was using my spiritual gift of encouragement. I even mentioned it to a Christian friend. 

But today, many of the regulars weren't there, but seven new women were. Everything felt different. Our once-intimate group had grown and changed. I felt glum.

Once home, I didn't know how to spend my time. The sun of yesterday had disappeared.  My same old body aches and pains were back. The rhythm of spiritual sensitivity to God's instructions was missing. I didn't have a plan of how to spend my time in a fruit-bearing way and even if I did, the tinnitus and body aches were intruding on my focus. 

Add into the equation is my 14-year-old dog who has some senility. She barks loudly at times for no reason. Sleep is her go-to but she wants to sleep near me and follow me around when I change locations. My patience is being severely tested. 

I felt unproductive today and most of us don't like to feel that way. 

It's after 10 pm now. My dog sleeps next to me now in the bedroom. I brought my laptop up so I could type this post and maybe do a few other things to end my day. 

I know good days will be here soon enough. This long winter will eventually end. New projects will be tackled in time. God is still in control. 

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Dealing with Misunderstandings on Social Media

I hate feeling misunderstood. I hate it when someone puts a social media post out, I fall prey to comment, and they get offended. 

I was blocked this week for making a joke. I guess she didn't think it was funny. 

Another person I sought to show compassion to took her post down. Did I cross a line with my comment? Did I say the wrong thing? Did she simply have second thoughts about being so vulnerable online? I truly was trying to let her know at 1 am that she was not alone, I was awake too, I would listen if she needed it. Was I wrong to post a reply to her "I'm lonely" post? Will we feel weird now when we see each other in person? Now I feel bad I tried to reach out. Does that ever happen to you?

When Our Words Backfire 

In this modern age of Internet interaction, when we put something out in internet land, having it backfire is a risk we take. The poster takes a risk, and I take a risk responding. Equally, I take a risk when I share. It's important to be ready for backlash of being misunderstood. 

More than once I've made what I think are humorous comments to people, and it hits a nerve with them. They don't see it as a joke, but as a poke. They get angry with me. At times, I look inward and wonder if I'm really a bully pretending to be funny, or just a nice person trying to be a friend. Many times I feel hurt by being misunderstood because really, I just want to be everyone's friend. 

Recognize when to Leave

There are trolls out there too. And, generally snide or evil people. They post things to cause arguments for fun. They often choose inappropriate moments to do this and do so in a forum where proper explanations can't be given. It's important not to engage, but to walk away. 

My Reactions

I've deleted posts when I haven't liked responses too or when I've regretted making the post. I've turned the status to "only me", at times, so I still have the feedback visible to myself. It's a way to stop further comments or look-y-loos. 

Many times, a person just wants their feelings validated. I dislike it when I put something out there and someone doesn't validate me but implies I'm wrong or unchristianlike. They might do this because they're not of a similar personality as I, their circumstances differ, or because they don't know the bigger story. So my problem is: Why did I need someone's validation to my situation? Why wasn't I ready to receive contrary advice?

Relationships have become complicated. My self-esteem can easily be shattered if I dwell on what I think has happened. No one wants to feel someone doesn't like them. No one wants their efforts to care or encourage to be called judgemental. No one wants to be told they've done the wrong thing or don't have a right to feel as they do. 

Rather than let this stuff sabotage my happiness, peace, or self-esteem, I'm practising letting things go and not being guilty of making mountains out of molehills. I'm trying to not become prey to offence because often that is the bait of Satan. 

Instead, I take it to God. I ask for his input. I try to put it out of my mind and practise affirming myself instead. 

Open to Correction

Sometimes we need to be corrected. If we can't handle occasional correction, we remain immature.

When these types of events happen, I'm going to ask God:

1. To show me the TRUTH of the matter. 
2. To help me let it go. 
3. To keep giving me wisdom to stay out of trouble. 
4. To renew my peace when it becomes tested.